Leaving Hawaii

I am getting ready to leave Hawaii and feeling many different feelings. I am sad to leave but I also have a few things I won't miss-- like the mosquitos. Also, it's not like I came from a bad place. My California home is also like paradise most of the year. And I miss the heck out of that place. I also miss being dry and wearing dry clothes sometimes. Amarjot misses her best friends. She has made many new ones but there is nothing like the old ones. Yet I know once we leave here we will both miss Hawaii every day for the rest of our lives. 

The ocean is the biggest thing we will miss. It's warm. Clear to the bottom. When you get in it, all your cares float away. It works that way in California too, but not as easy to get in it this time of year. (Cold!)

Then there is the fruit. What can I say? If you have never had a local mango in Hawaii from Hawaii in its season. It's worth the airfare. Then there are all other magical fruits you maybe never heard of: star fruit, rombutan, dragon fruit, lilikoi-- I could wax poetic. 

All the things I wanted to happen while I was here happened. Like rebirthing my creative self and learning more about Hawaiian Shamanism and some other things that I put on my list. 

Amarjot became an even more hard core surfergirl. I'm afraid there is no going back for her. She's addicted to catching the next wave. She is so tan she looks native. 

But I am excited to put roots back down in our home land of California. We aren't far from the ocean and I can buy her a wetsuit if she notices that it's colder. Kids don't seem to notice the temperature though. She will go in the ocean no matter what. 

I also will miss the pace here. Or maybe it's not a pace so much as a mentality. My friend came to visit from the mainland and couldn't understand why the chocolate store wouldn't be open on Black Friday. The chocolate store in Hanalei is rarely open. I have only seen them open twice. They keep random hours despite thier posted sign. She said: "but I can't believe they'd want to miss out on all that business!"

I can understand it. Maybe they want to go to the beach too. It's not all about the dollar here. It's about enjoying the life. I hope I can take that mentality back to the mainland with me and share it in a loving way. 

I have learned so much and grown so much. If you have come for healing, Kauai makes you heal--but in a nice way. Everything I thought I was or was becoming was burned away. Then in the midst of the burning mother Kauai sends a gentle rain or a rainbow. 

 I recently did a rebirthing workshop where Yogi Bhajan said that the more distance you have from your identity the more you can heal. So I am keeping a healthy distance from identity and also from the need for identity. This is tricky. The only way is to just be. Hour by hour. Wave by wave. Dish by dish. Drop by drop. Page by page. With a little help from my friends. 

The future will be beautiful if I approach now with innocence and faith.