Visiting the Throne of God - Fast Day 8 -9
Day 8 - Today was awesome and difficult. I went to no food and didn't really notice till about 2:00 pm. I felt so good and happy (although a little spacey) that I thought I could go another few days without food and wondered if that was God's intent all along. I decided I would probably try it. And then I paused and decided to ask if that was my idea or God's. He said it was up to me but that there was more they wanted to show me.... Okay.
Then I started to have more withdrawls from food and was really doubting. I thought maybe this was enough and I would go back slowly to fruit juice and fruit yogurt and then mung bean soup again.
Then I got a text from my friend. They didn't find the child today. They are going to try again tomorrow.
So I decided that was a clear indication that I needed to keep going at least one more day. Water and Yogi Tea but no food. As soon as I decided that, I went into serious emotional tantrum. Or rather, my subconscious did. I wanted to run away from all the emotional turmoil so I decided to numb out by watching a movie with Amarjot. It was actually the perfect movie. It was one of the Chronicles of Narnia movies-- The Voyage of The Dawn Treader. I love C. S. Lewis. I won't list all the things I got from it but this was one good one:
"If you want to beat the darkness out there, you must first fight the darkness within." Says Ramandu. I love that movie so much. I love Aslan. And Reepicheep. This time I felt like I WAS all the characters in the movie at once. And I cried like a baby at the end, like I always do. But this time it was different. I am sort of raw.
Despite the Narnian lift I still felt like I was in need of help. So one of my Besties guided me on an imagery journey and I went to the Throne of God.
It was sort of epic beyond description but I will try.
I sat under a tree in my special place. Then part of me left my body and went to the throne of God. Awe. The only thing to do is bow. Then I burst into flames. But my body did not burn. God's throne was more like a couch and He and Heavenly Mother were both there. She came and picked me up off the floor and the flames went out. She invited me to sit on the throne. I was resistant. I didn't seem appropriate. It was the Throne of God. But I obeyed and suddenly I was sitting on it and light was shooting out of me. I suddenly felt fine. I was all weepy and needy before and had come to beg for help and understanding. But sitting on the throne of God changes things.
I talked to them like a peer. Because I WAS. And I talked about myself (down on earth) as if I was separate from her. I said. She is struggling so much.
They said, What would you do if you were in our place?
That made me pause. I suddenly was in their place and saw that there was nothing else that could be done. It was necessary for so many reasons that I suddenly grasped and I glimpsed the beautiful outcome.
They also told me. It is so difficult for her because it is not just for her.
Ah. I was suddenly filled with compassion for her (myself under the tree) again and I petitioned them. Then can you shorten the time for her. And for all the righteous. They are all fighting a great battle.
They said, The Divine wish is expressed through you. At that moment I felt something shift. And I felt how much love They have for all mankind. They told me that however I finished out the 25 day fast it would achieve its purpose.
Then they gave me a gift, which I can't tell about, but it was super cool. And there were some other cool parts. Then I came back to my body under the tree and the tree and all the angels there wrapped me in their good energy and then I came back to this non-reality. But when I came back I still felt Them with me. And I felt a ton of angels in my room and I could very clearly hear what they were saying.
They were feeding me with tons of positive suggestions. They were filling up my subconscious mind, which was just a few minutes earlier cleaned out by God, and they were putting in so much good. Telling me I was good and loved. It was a big crowd and they hung around for a long time and I still feel them here. Just less loud so I can write.
Oh there was one part when I told God I felt like xyz (some personal desire) was really far off, and one of the angels near my left ear said really loudly, "No it's not!"
I had to laugh. Silly angels.
But let me just say, once you go to the Throne of God, nothing is quite the same. It changes you. It changes your prayers. And it's the coolest thing I get to do in a day when I guide people there.
Day 9 - A good day. Went to Kundalini Yoga Class. Felt strong. And lost of angels still around. No food. Still haven't found the child. I guess I will go one more day. God tells me the child will be found though.
Then I started to have more withdrawls from food and was really doubting. I thought maybe this was enough and I would go back slowly to fruit juice and fruit yogurt and then mung bean soup again.
Then I got a text from my friend. They didn't find the child today. They are going to try again tomorrow.
So I decided that was a clear indication that I needed to keep going at least one more day. Water and Yogi Tea but no food. As soon as I decided that, I went into serious emotional tantrum. Or rather, my subconscious did. I wanted to run away from all the emotional turmoil so I decided to numb out by watching a movie with Amarjot. It was actually the perfect movie. It was one of the Chronicles of Narnia movies-- The Voyage of The Dawn Treader. I love C. S. Lewis. I won't list all the things I got from it but this was one good one:
"If you want to beat the darkness out there, you must first fight the darkness within." Says Ramandu. I love that movie so much. I love Aslan. And Reepicheep. This time I felt like I WAS all the characters in the movie at once. And I cried like a baby at the end, like I always do. But this time it was different. I am sort of raw.
Despite the Narnian lift I still felt like I was in need of help. So one of my Besties guided me on an imagery journey and I went to the Throne of God.
It was sort of epic beyond description but I will try.
 |
| My tree didn't exactly look like this. But I like this picture. |
I sat under a tree in my special place. Then part of me left my body and went to the throne of God. Awe. The only thing to do is bow. Then I burst into flames. But my body did not burn. God's throne was more like a couch and He and Heavenly Mother were both there. She came and picked me up off the floor and the flames went out. She invited me to sit on the throne. I was resistant. I didn't seem appropriate. It was the Throne of God. But I obeyed and suddenly I was sitting on it and light was shooting out of me. I suddenly felt fine. I was all weepy and needy before and had come to beg for help and understanding. But sitting on the throne of God changes things.
I talked to them like a peer. Because I WAS. And I talked about myself (down on earth) as if I was separate from her. I said. She is struggling so much.
They said, What would you do if you were in our place?
That made me pause. I suddenly was in their place and saw that there was nothing else that could be done. It was necessary for so many reasons that I suddenly grasped and I glimpsed the beautiful outcome.
They also told me. It is so difficult for her because it is not just for her.
Ah. I was suddenly filled with compassion for her (myself under the tree) again and I petitioned them. Then can you shorten the time for her. And for all the righteous. They are all fighting a great battle.
They said, The Divine wish is expressed through you. At that moment I felt something shift. And I felt how much love They have for all mankind. They told me that however I finished out the 25 day fast it would achieve its purpose.
Then they gave me a gift, which I can't tell about, but it was super cool. And there were some other cool parts. Then I came back to my body under the tree and the tree and all the angels there wrapped me in their good energy and then I came back to this non-reality. But when I came back I still felt Them with me. And I felt a ton of angels in my room and I could very clearly hear what they were saying.
They were feeding me with tons of positive suggestions. They were filling up my subconscious mind, which was just a few minutes earlier cleaned out by God, and they were putting in so much good. Telling me I was good and loved. It was a big crowd and they hung around for a long time and I still feel them here. Just less loud so I can write.
Oh there was one part when I told God I felt like xyz (some personal desire) was really far off, and one of the angels near my left ear said really loudly, "No it's not!"
I had to laugh. Silly angels.
But let me just say, once you go to the Throne of God, nothing is quite the same. It changes you. It changes your prayers. And it's the coolest thing I get to do in a day when I guide people there.
Day 9 - A good day. Went to Kundalini Yoga Class. Felt strong. And lost of angels still around. No food. Still haven't found the child. I guess I will go one more day. God tells me the child will be found though.
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