Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Emma Wood Beach

We stumbled down the dirt embankment, then across the railroad tracks, looking left and right. I stopped to take a picture as she climbed ahead of me, up through prickly, scrub bushes. When I reached the opposite ridge she was already down on the road looking up, waiting for me to scramble over after her. I came up a different path, so she didn’t see me watching her, or the ocean and clouds wild behind her. From the road we jumped down again, onto boulders, then rocks, which dwindled into pebbles, and into smooth sand. 

After jumping down the boulders, I looked down to check my footing and saw a grey rock the shape of a near perfect heart. It was another much appreciated sign that we are loved. I believe that when Christ takes out a person’s stony heart and replaces is with a heart of flesh, he litters them along beaches and hiking trails and re-purposes them as love notes to weary travelers.

We perched our flip flops on a rock and walked along in the water. For a moment, we were both home.











Oh and as a side bonus, God sent some random photography student wandering the beach to come and document the whole thing. He was nice and offered to email me the pictures afterward. I hope he gets good grades on this one.  Good things happen to us everywhere we go.  

Yogic Anatomy––Quick Reference Guide

Prana: The subtle life force; the first unit of energy. Prana regards the movement and coding of these life energies through the body and mind. Prana has healing powers; most healing comes from moving prana around in the body. Some call prana the light of Christ.


Apana: The eliminating force of the body.


Kundalini: Your divine creative potential; the energy of the soul itself.


Nadis: Channels of flow for the prana. Of the seventy-two thousand nadis, seventy-two are vital. Three of the seventy-two are essential for understanding Kundalini Yoga: shushmana, ida, and pingala.


Shushmana: Also called the silver cord. Shushmana is the central nadi and begins at the base of the spine, where the three nadis (ida, pingala, and shushmana) meet. Shushmana travels a straight path up the spine to the top of the head (the Crown Chakra).


Ida: The nadi that ends at the left nostril. Ida is the cooling, soothing, mind-expanding energy of the moon.


Pingala: The nadi that ends in the right nostril. Pingala brings in the stimulating, energizing, heating energy of the sun.


Chakras: Swirling vortexes of energy within the body that correspond to different organs and different psychological states and emotions.


Navel Point: Located two inches below the navel. The Navel Point, a center of energy transformation, is the starting point of the seventy-two thousand nadis.


Nervous System: The base power, it controls most of the other systems in the body via nerves. The nervous system and the glandular system work together, with the hypothalamus as an intermediary, to repattern the brain.


Pineal Gland: The master gland deep in the center of the brain that is related to your intelligence and connection with God.


Pituitary Gland: Another master gland, located behind the forehead inside the sphenoid sinus.  This gland secretes all the hormones that make you happy and healthy. It works in conjunction with the pineal gland, like a Urim and Thummim. The pituitary gland is associated with intuition and seeing with the spiritual eye.

Tattvas: The five tattvas are the elements we are made of: earth, water, fire, air, and ether. If the tattvas are not filtered through the light of consciousness, they are expressed as greed, lust, anger, attachment, and pride. They cannot be eliminated, but their energy can be channelled in positive ways.


Ten Bodies: The yogic anatomy includes ten bodies: Soul Body, Negative Mind, Positive Mind, Neutral Mind, Physical Body, Arcline, Aura, Pranic Body, Subtle Body, and Radiant Body. The eleventh body is the Sound Current, which embodies all.

Tuesday, October 21, 2014

Preaching the Good Word of Kundalini Yoga

 When I was in the temple in Idaho I got a message through a random opening of the scriptures. We call this a “Hookum” in Kundalini Yoga speak. The message was “preach my word unto everyone who comes under the sound of your voice.” 

 So that’s what I started doing and my American Tour became a lot more fun. I just taught in every situation presented me, formal or informal. I even taught these missionaries (for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) at the Dairy Queen in the middle of nowhere New Mexico where we stopped for an urgent bathroom break. 

We got some horrible pizza and asked if we could sit next to them in the booth. They happily accepted. Then they were cornered. “So Elders, let me tell you about the true church of God on the earth and Kundalini Yoga and Meditation.” 

They were wide eyed as I told them all about our trip to Espanola, and how Kundalini Yoga and Meditation is awesome and how I believe it’s part of the restoration of all things. 

They were a bit wide eyed, but when I gave them a word in one of them volunteered that he had done some Tai Kwan Do before his mission and said that his Sensai always told them to meditate. That’s a good sensai. He knows that the physical discipline is only half of the work. 

 We discussed the work in Albequerque mission (they spend a lot of time serving digging ditches). We discussed some cool Lamanite/Native American stuff which I’ll have to post about when I have more resources with me. I encouraged them to look up my blog/YouTube channel and start meditating. I promised it would help their work and the power of their word. I told them that they would not be the first missionary to do so and that some mission presidents even encourage it. 

Then we said farewell and had to get a picture for my blog. 

I forgot to get one of us. But yes, I was wearing a silver turban. 

I love being on tour.

Saturday, October 18, 2014

My Deal With God - Bailey's Story



My Deal With God
by Bailey Cotant





I first got introduced to Kundalini Yoga when i was serving a mission for The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. The events that took place to get me to Kundalini Yoga and the events that took place after were all inspired, spiritual, challenging, and quite amazing.

As I was spending a significant amount of time studying as a missionary I found myself constantly being drawn to the idea of meditation. I had never explored much into the world of meditation but I was feeling very strongly it was something I needed to know more about. I began asking around in situations where I felt impressed to do so. I asked a dear friend of mine some questions and she had amazing answers. She said she learned much of what she was teaching me from the blog Progressive Prophetess. She showed me one of the posts and I felt with every particle of my being the truth radiating off the page. That next Monday when I was able to email my mom Ii told her she must check out the blog and learn all that she could about Kundalini Yoga.

So my mom did. And I learned a couple short meditations and practiced as often as I could while being a missionary and having many tasks to accomplish. One of my leaders told me he felt inspired that I come up with a five minute activity for my zone of missionaries. So I even got to teach my zone and district of missionaries about the meditations, and we meditated together. The room was full of joy and the missionaries responses were all positive! It was nerve racking and a little scary as these things were not typically practiced at what we call zone meeting. But I felt inspired so I did it! So then God suggested I start looking into teaching yoga when I returned home. So with much help from Felice and my mom, I got signed up for a level one teacher training. Although at this point I didn’t know all that much about it, just that I felt the truth and divinity of it all.

Upon my arrival home from my mission I learned some things I was completely unaware of. God’s hand directed me straight to Kundalini Yoga. It was Him. He wanted me to learn and understand this technology. I believe this because I soon found out the effect it had on my family. This technology quite literally saved my mother, and in fact changed her life.

My family has gone through years of abuse--abuse of all different kinds. And I understood that there was nothing any human could do to fix the broken parts of my family. So I made an agreement with God that if I went and served a mission, He would take care of my family. I believed that all things that were unfair about life could be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ. So I went and I served Him for eighteen months. And He directed me straight to Kundalini Yoga. It has changed my family. It has changed me. It is in fact LIFE CHANGING. This technology is such a blessing to my family. I’m not sure I could ever put it into words.  But I believe that it is of God, and I have a firm testimony of its divinity.

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Stop Fighting Against Porn. Start Fighting For Healthy Spirituality and Sexaulity

I don't know about you, but I for one am totally bored of all the talk about pornography addiction. I agree that it's a problem. But for reals, don't you think we know this? Maybe some people don't. But the point is, talking about it, while it may raise awareness, isn't changing anything. The LDS church an the family unit is still getting its butt kicked by pornography. There have only been several recorded zion societies in the scriptures and the way they eradicated evil was by preaching the gospel and filling themselves with the love of God.

I think that the first thing we need to do to empower men women and children is to change the language we are using. Rather than telling our teens and young people "don't look at porn" we can start talking about healthy spirituality and sexuality.

I believe that the atonement of Jesus Christ can heal all things, but I belive we block that healing with a lot of subconscious garbage. And I have witnessed that the fastest way to clear away that garbage and allow the atonement to do it's mighty work, is through the technology of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation. So I am offering some tools. For example, here is a mediation that every 14-year old boy should know. Now instead of telling him to not look at porn, you can encourage him to do Sat Kriya and get crazy super powers so he can teleport someday.




I am going to be writing and vlogging a lot more about this topic of healthy spirituality and sexuality in the weeks to come and I will be offering a 6-8 week kundalini yoga and meditation series online that I believe will be game changing for the whole planet. Here is a video on it. Please share it. We are all in this together and we all need healthy spirituality and sexuality.


Tuesday, October 14, 2014

The Chakras And The Two Trees (Book Chapter)

                                      This series of posts is part of a book. See outline here.





The Sanskrit word chakra means “wheel.” The chakras are perceived as swirling vortexes of energy. The vortex is one of the most powerful forces in nature, and this vortex motif appears everywhere, from twisting galaxies to tornadoes, the shape of the DNA double helix, and the serpentine path of the rising Kundalini. The chakras are believed to be the doorways to divine consciousness and are centers of transformation. They essentially knot the physical and etheric bodies together, and they exchange energy and communication from physical to nonphysical (ethereal/spiritual) and back.
There are seven major cerebrospinal chakras, beginning at the base of the spine and going all the way to the top of the head. Their common names are: Root Chakra, Sacral Chakra, Solar Plexus Chakra, Heart Chakra, Throat Chakra, Third Eye, and Crown Chakra. Each one correlates with a different color of the rainbow, beginning with red at the Root Chakra and ending with purple at the Crown Chakra. Yogi Bhajan also taught that the Aura is a chakra, the eighth, and the color associated with it is white. Though the chakras are ethereal, they are real, and some people are able to see them with their spiritual eyes. The ancient prophet Ezekiel recorded a vision in which he saw “living creatures” (cherubim) [1] with different colored “wheels” inside of them that were the colors of the rainbow.
And when the living creatures went, the wheels went by them: and when the living creatures were lifted up from the earth, the wheels were lifted up . . . for the spirit of the living creature was in the wheels. (Ezekiel 1:19–21; see also Ezekiel 10:17)
And I saw as the colour of amber, as the appearance of fire round about within it, from the appearance of his loins even upward . . . as the appearance of the bow that is in the cloud in the day of rain. (Ezekiel 1: 27–28)
The chakras are indeed “the spirit of the living creature.” When the chakras are open and balanced, the Kundalini is able to rise, which allows a powerful transformation, good health, and happiness. When the chakras are weak or closed, unhappiness, misery, and disease can result.
To understand the chakras fully, we must go back to the Garden of Eden and the two trees planted there.
The Tree of Knowledge
When Adam and Eve partook of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil, our planet became a polarity planet, with “opposition in all things.” Some Christians condemn Adam and Eve for the Fall, believing that were it not for this transgression, mankind could have existed forever in Eden. However, Latter-day Saints have an enlightened and different perspective about our first parents and the choice they made in the garden. Latter-day revelation makes clear that the Fall is a blessing, without which humankind could not have come into existence. The Fall was the process by which Adam and Eve became mortal [2], meaning  they were physically changed. Blood began to circulate through their veins, and they became subject to death, but this change also enabled them to give life. “Eve, his wife, heard all these things and was glad, saying: Were it not for our transgression we never should have had seed, and never should have known good and evil, and the joy of our redemption” (Moses 5:11)
Like Eve, I cannot discuss the Fall without rejoicing in the Atonement. Of course, an all-knowing and loving God foresaw Adam and Eve’s choice, and He had already prepared a way for Adam and Eve to reenter His presence. As part of God’s great plan, we were given the freedom to choose between good and evil, and we were also given a Savior and the ability to repent. It is through Jesus Christ and His infinite Atonement that human kind’s fallen consciousness can be re-turned to God and our bodies will be changed again and become immortal.
Before the Fall, I believe the chakras may have existed in some form, but they did not become the powerful centers of transformation that they are today until after the Fall. As mentioned, the chakras are swirling vortexes of energy. A vortex, the most powerful force in nature, is caused by opposing forces, like the clash of cold and hot air that creates a tornado. Thus, the polarity force––opposition––makes the chakras swirl [5].
I am awed by the brilliance in God’s design. The bitter consequence of the Fall is the very thing that can be harnessed to create the power to overcome it. It is through the pressure of opposition and faithful obedience that potential and growth are created. Transformation occurs in the same way through the science of Kundalini Yoga. The two opposing forces of the prana (life force) and apana (destroying, eliminating force) are harnessed by pressurizing them below the navel, within the temple of our body. Through this process, we can open and balance the chakras and unlock the Kundalini (the divine True Self) and raise it back up to the higher centers and to God.
The reason I refer to this form of yoga as a technology is because the word technology means: the application of scientific knowledge for practical purposes. The purpose of Kundalini Yoga and Meditation, sometimes called “the science of God-realization” [6] is the same as God’s purpose for temples and sacred ordinances: to bring humankind back into the presence of God. In The Temple and the Body chapter, you will read more about the similarities between these two technologies.
Because God is an all-knowing God and also the Creator of our bodies and ethereal anatomy, it makes sense that He would have the technology to help Adam and Eve awaken and return the sleeping Kundalini. And it is quite possible that before He sent Adam and Eve out of the garden, He gave them a little bit of this sacred technology. Later, when they proved trustworthy and faithful, He gave them more light and knowledge.
You may understand this concept if you are an endowed member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and go to the temple often with an awakened understanding of what we do there. I will cover this concept more throughout the book, particularly in the temple chapter.
For now, suffice it to say, when we combine a raised consciousness with the power of sacred ordinances that God has revealed in His latter-day temples, we can rise to a level of purity and power that is above and beyond the façade of polarity (maya), we can literally come into the presence of God, and we can become like God.
The Tree of Life
That brings me to the other tree: The Tree of Life. In its simplest symbolism, this tree represents eternal life and the presence of God. When Adam and Eve partook of the other tree and fell, God barred them from the Tree of Life to prevent them from coming to God on their fallen terms. He did so by putting two barriers between them and eternal life: “I drove out the man, and I placed at the east of the Garden of Eden, cherubim and a flaming sword, which turned every way to keep the way to the tree of life” (Moses 4:31; cf. Genesis 3:24).
Since eternal life is the ultimate goal of God’s plan of happiness for His children, there must necessarily be a way past these two barriers. The first barrier mentioned is cherubim. Cherubim are sentinel angels; they guard the way to the presence of God. To pass by them, we need the appropriate technology. We can receive this technology in the temple when we make covenants. As alluded to above, Adam and Eve received their first bit of this technology when they made their first covenant[7] before they left the garden.
However, even with the technology to pass the sentinel angels, there is still the flaming sword. Nephi and Lehi’s vision of the Tree of Life suggests that the flaming sword may represent the justice of God [8]. As we know, the justice of God cannot allow sin. To come into God’s presence, one must be pure in both mind and body. If there is any enmity, ill will, or hostility toward someone or something, it will make the nervous system weak and unable to handle the glory of God. One will quite literally fry, and enmity is the fuel for the fire.
I like the way LDS scholar M. Catherine Thomas explains the weakening effects of enmity in her book Light in the Wilderness:
Enmity makes us impure and corruptible. The reason that beings with enmity will be destroyed seems to be that enmity decreases a person’s ability to endure holiness, being in a contracted, self-absorbed, toxic, and blind state. The nervous system of a spiritually underdeveloped person cannot withstand the higher energy field of purified beings and conditions. Enmity then puts us at risk and makes us perishable in the presence of holiness.[9]
So we must purify our bodies of enmity and anything warlike. We purify ourselves with the help of Jesus Christ and through consciousness. The unconscious mind, as discussed in the chapter on the mind, is a receptacle of many impure things. Purifying the unconscious mind is a much bigger job than it may seem. Most of what is in the mind was planted and programmed without us realizing what was happening, which is why we need a powerful technology. M. Catherine Thomas further explains:
If we are feeding too much, through whatever medium, on the world-mind and its thought-world, which is characterized by enmity and self-seeking, the Natural Mind will be our reality and will run us. We will not have the inner power to abandon ungodliness and to be lifted up in Christ and filled with His love. We must do an energy exchange by chasing darkness with light and consciously choosing the energy that will hum throughout our soul.[10]
The sacred technology of Kundalini Yoga purifies the subconscious mind (which I believe to be seated in the Heart Center [11]) and strengthens the nervous system, which is the base power. The nervous system and its ethereal counterpart, the nadis, look like a tree [there will be a cool picture here in the book.] branching out from the spine. The nervous system has been likened to a Tree of Life by many people, as it is the system that brings life and energy to the whole body. But as mentioned in the Kundalini chapter, most people never access most of this divine energy.
When the body-mind becomes purified, when the nervous system becomes strong enough to accommodate more energy, and when all the chakras are open and the Kundalini has risen and stays risen and balanced, many amazing things happen. A person becomes awake, born of the Spirit, and Christ-like attributes flow naturally. The impossible becomes possible, and the veil of maya is pulled from our eyes. The façade of our separateness from God is removed, and the world of opposites begins to fall away. "[12]
When a person is thus spiritually and physically enlightened, the chakras, to those with spiritual sight, have the appearance of fire. The ancient prophet Daniel describes this phenomenon in his vision of Adam: “I beheld . . . the Ancient of days did sit, whose garment was white as snow, and the hair of his head like the pure wool: his throne was like the fiery flame, and his wheels as burning fire” (Daniel 7:9).
This powerful energy flowing through the nervous system gives life to the tree of life and the flaming sword within us. We become joint-heirs with Christ. Achieving this state is possible in this life and much faster than your previous experiences may have taught you. As you will read in the temple chapter, it is essential that we do all we can to merit this awakening (which comes by grace) while still in our physical bodies.
Nephi gave us the path to the tree. The path is straight and narrow (obedience, the spine). And he gave us a guide (the iron rod, or the Word of God.)[13] The Word chapter explores how sacred, highly vibrating keywords or mantras fit into this picture and how they work in conjunction with the gospel knowledge you already have.

My Flaming Sword

A few years into my journey with Kundalini Yoga, I had several devastating life events happen around the same time. Most were beyond my understanding, but my reaction was not what it might have been a few years earlier. I went immediately into a neutral, meditative mind. All was darkness around me, but I stayed in the light of God’s love and prayed to “see things as they really are.” Things got darker and heavier. I went deeper. For twelve days I hung by a fingernail over the canyon of doom. I clung to faith and hope.
Then one night, in the middle of the night, I heard the word of the Lord tell me that because I had struggled with a dark presence that had possessed my body for many years, he would now cleanse me from it.[14] After twelve full days of fervent prayer, twelve years of unexplained torment were over. The next night, in the middle of the night, I felt a burning sensation going up my spine and out the branches of the nervous system in a tree-like pattern across my back. It felt like marbles made of fire were trying to squeeze through tiny nerve-sized canals. At first, I was afraid it was darkness trying to get in again. Then, I was inspired to sit up straight and do Breath of Fire.[15] In less than a minute, the energy quickly moved through the rest of the nervous system without pain. It felt like my nervous system had just recalibrated and rebooted. I felt great for days after.
For many years I had been adding more and more light to myself, but only after casting out the devil was my Kundalini finally able to flow completely freely through my already-strong nervous system. It was amazing. Keeping it up was an interesting battle during that dark time in my life, but I endured. Shortly thereafter I began to experience an outpouring of spiritual gifts and visions. Many nights I felt Christ come personally to heal me or be with me. One night, I discerned with my spiritual senses that God wanted to give me something: a flaming sword. I didn’t understand it then, but I accepted it. He commanded me to wear it on my back and not to use it unless instructed. I imagined placing it, like an arrow, in the quiver of my spine.
Only recently have I come to understand the implications of this symbolic vision. Though I am not yet perfect, I have been given access. I had the impression that this experience may have been the transition from growing “grace for grace,” which implies an exchange, to growing “grace to grace,” implying steady incremental growth that is given. Each day, as I choose to partake of the fruit, more cells in my body are changed.
[1] Ezekiel 10:20.
[2] The Church of Jesus Christ f Latter-day Saints, “Fall of Adam and Eve,” accessed March 8, 2014, https://www.lds.org/scriptures/gs/fall-of-adam-and-eve.
[3 &4 ] Used in a sidebar not shown here.
[5] 2 Nephi 2:11–16.
[6] Paramahansa Yogananda calls it “Kriya Yoga” and “the science of God-realization” throughout his book The Yoga of Jesus (Los Angeles: Self-Realization Fellowship, 2007), and I like the second term.
[7] This first covenant was the one in which God promised Adam and Eve a Savior if they promised to obey God’s laws and repent when they erred. The technology they received is sacred and only revealed in the House of the Lord.
[8] Royal Skousen, as part of his critical text project on the Book of Mormon, has reached the conclusion that 1 Nephi 12:18 in the original Book of Mormon manuscript (which still exists for that passage) says the following: “And a great and terrible gulf divideth them yea even the sword of the justice of the eternal God” (italics added). Note that this text differs from our current edition of the Book of Mormon, which reads “word” instead of “sword.” This passage describes that which divides the wicked in the “great and spacious building” from the Tree of Life, namely, “the sword of the justice of the eternal God.” Combining Nephi’s descriptions of his (and Lehi’s) vision of the Tree of Life, we have “the justice of God” represented as both a sword and a flaming fire—combined, a flaming sword.
[9] M. Catherine Thomas, Light in the Wilderness: Explorations in the Spiritual Life (Salt Lake City, UT: Digital Legend Press, 2010), 152.
[10] Ibid, 160.
[11] See the Mind-Body-Spirit Chapter.
[12] The scriptures say there must be “an opposition in all things” (2 Nephi 2:11). The prophets were, of course, speaking in the context of the world of maya. Opposition is not needed in the higher realms. Once a person has achieved the level of purity that qualifies him or her to stand in the presence of God, the need for opposition begins to diminish, along with its effect on the body/mind. We know from Biblical and extracanonical sources that the bodies of the extremely pure are changed (e.g., St. John, the three Nephites, Enoch and others) so that they are no longer subject to opposition in all things. It is my opinion that after this change, eternal progression occurs by harnessing the same principles of polarity, but only the purest forms of polarity, such as the male and female polarity, which is used to create spirits and worlds—hence the importance of eternal marriage. I discuss this further in the temple chapter.
[13] 1 Nephi 11; see also 2 Nephi 9:41.
[14]You can learn more about dark spirits and interference on page xx.
[15] Instructions on how to do Breath of Fire are on page xx.


Sunday, October 12, 2014

Meeting God In My Heart



Meeting God In My Heart
by Beth Huges



My name is Beth, and I'm twenty-eight years old. I am a mother first and foremost. I have two delightful boys, and by delightful I mean that they are energetic, loving, busy, and all boy. I have a daughter who is still “zero,” as my boys like to say. They are also happy to say that she is zero and a half. I also tutor math to high school students in the neighborhood. I taught middle school for three years, before I had children. And I always say to people that I love middle schoolers and high schoolers because I never really matured past that age. I have a little, but I have a similar attention span as them, I have the same energy level, and I like to read what they read. I teach a youth Sunday School class right now, and I love that I am teaching absolute truth to teenagers. It's awesome. We live in West Lafayette, Indiana, while my husband attends Purdue University to get a PhD.
I discovered meditation through The Gift of Giving Life. I had always heard the apostles and prophets talk about meditation and pondering, and I had tried to do it on my own, but I couldn't keep it up. I wanted the peace and the knowledge that we have been promised that comes to those who ponder and meditate. When I found Felice's website and saw that she was going to do a webinar teaching you how to meditate, I signed up. This is where I learned about Kundalini Yoga.
When I started doing Kundalini Yoga, I found it a little different, but I loved it. As I mentioned earlier, I have always had a hard time being still. And it made me feel guilty whenever I read, "Be still and know that I am God” (Psalm 46:12), because I don't sit still. I am always twiddling my fingers, moving my toes or my feet, or bouncing. Doing the mudras and chanting the mantras were enough movement and repetition for me to be still. I have always set my intention on being closer to God. And I envision that, as I am chanting out loud, I am letting God know that I am preparing for Him to enter into my heart. As I whisper, I envision all the things that I love about God as I prepare to lower myself and enter into my heart and meet God there. While I am silent, I envision being in my heart with God, and then I slowly come out of it, singing praises and gratitude for God and his goodness.
Then I start reading my scriptures. And I study them, and I'm slower about it. I like to be quick and I like to gobble things up, but after I've done the meditation I feel like I can savor the words and ponder them better. I also ask more questions about how different people feel in the stories, or why different words were chosen. Or what questions I should ask my Sunday School class. And then I try to find the answers. And I know that God is listening to me ask better questions and helps me answer those questions.
I also say my longest prayer of the day before I tune out. I list many things that I'm grateful for. Little things, like my oldest son whispering to me how much he loves his sister or the younger son's sense of humor developing. And big things like how grateful I am for the gospel and for revelation and for specific revelations. Then I ask for blessings for everyone else. Since I've started meditation, I feel like I don't have to ask for things for myself. Or if it is for myself it's also for my family, like asking to help me become the best mother for my children. Or asking for the Atonement to cover my mistakes so that my children still have a good experience with families and can still love me despite my sins.
I started this when I was five months pregnant with my daughter. And I noticed that I was in a lot more control. I have felt that I don't fly out of control, even with the shift in hormones, and believe me––my hormones have shifted a lot. I have also noticed that I am kinder to myself and to my children (which, as my husband says, “is saying a lot because you’ve always been kind, patient and loving”). I feel lots more at peace. I also have slowed down enough to ponder and think about things. I practice conversations if I know that they'll be loaded, because I don't want to offend with my lack of tact (which I still do, but not every day like I did before.)
My personal relationship with God is solid now. It has always been strong. I have been blessed with a gift of faith, but this has just made my faith like Job's. I feel that I'm not afraid to ask for blessings because I know that God wants to give them to me. I'm quicker to thank Him for those blessings, and I'm quicker to work for them. I feel the love of God strongly, and I feel like I've made my home more like a temple because of meditation. I have had a hard time getting to the temple, because it's three hours away and it becomes an eleven-hour day, and it's hard with a newborn and an infant, but I still feel like I'm participating in temple worship with meditation. I feel like I've been able to make my home a temple where God and I visit and commune with each other. Don't get me wrong, we are still striving to attend the temple, but I feel more at peace with my limitations.
I have noticed that my family is all happier. My husband has noticed in me that I seem more at peace. He says the changes are subtle because I was already full of light, peace, and happiness. My boys will break out in singing Sa Ta Na Ma or walk around doing the prosperity meditation. I love it. They are happier on the days that I meditate because I set the tone of the day. They like to watch the life of Christ movies while I meditate. And then we play Resurrection or carrying the sick palsy man around, which strengthens their testimonies. I also am more in tune with the Spirit and can find the moments that I can testify about Christ as we are playing and growing.
I am not perfect. I still get frustrated with my children and my surroundings, but meditating is the springboard to higher learning for me. I am closer to God when I invite Him into my home, and I do that through meditation. I am in better control of my body, and my body works better when I meditate. I missed almost a week and a half in August, at the end of a long summer of little sleep and high stress from having a new baby and a busy husband, and when I started it up again, I felt so strongly that I am loved and that God is pleased with me. And that is why I will do my very best to meditate and study the scriptures. I feel close to God and I can feel His love for me and for everyone around me.