Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Kauai Greetings

Chicken Plus Poetry is the name of my favorite instagram profile. Here is a great example of one.

Wherever I am, I am what is missing.

That's how I feel. If you haven't kept up, I am in Kauai now. Have been here more than a month. Here is a short summary of my days here:

Sleep, meditate, write, read, gasp at beauty, eat mangos, surf, swim, sun, little rain, sun, rinse and repeat.

Maybe I did come here sort of to run away from some things. But running away has it's beauty too.

Sometimes you can't see where you are from where you are standing.

The beauty here is not just in the landscape and the ocean and colors and light, though that is breath robbing. There is much beauty here because there is much beauty everywhere in the world, but there is an energy here of healing and Aloha, and a culture supportive of stopping and gasping. It's similar, in a way, to my hometown of Ojai, only more tropical. In Thailand they have a saying "Same. Same. But Different." That's how it is. Same same but different.

In Kauai I have also have had the space and time to read all kinds of things I've wanted to read just because they are beautiful. I have spent whole days reading and days exploring and I have written lots of haiku in notebooks. One day I swam in an underground lake inside a cave and had to swim through a portal into another cave called the blue room. As I swam through the opening I remembered that I had dreamt about this dozens of times since childhood. In the dream the swim through the tunnel was terrifying. In the real experience, I was somewhere between nervous and mermaid.

Mother Kauai has a way of offering you the healing you seek, even if you didn't know what it was that still needed to heal. Mine has been a creative recovery of my inner artist, which has been blocked for a few years, and with that creativity, I also recovered my magical inner child, my femininity, my grace, and so much more.

I was so blessed to be able to share some of this with all the beautiful women to came to my retreat a week or so ago. They were so amazing. Their progress was amazing in just a few days! But look what changes Alma made in a few days. And Paul. And Jesus. He did something cool in 3 days.

I made a few video interviews of them on the last day. If they look sad it's because they are leaving. They are amazing. You will be blown away if you watch these videos. Julie has lost a 100 lbs since starting her KY journey in May. Jo is doing an amazing job healinng from her huband's suice. Taranjot use to never allow herself to be photographed... Now look at her. She is so beautiful!

The cool thing about doing healing and chanting and prayers in Kauai is that there is nothing to the north except the north pole. Nothing to the south except the south pole. Surrounded by water, which is a superconductor, it can send the prayers out like a ripple around the whole entire world.

I haven't written much on my blog since I have been here, mainly because I got a clear message to take a break from blogging. Just in cast it wasn't clear enough, my computer keyboard stopped typing the N and the O key--as if passive aggressively saying NO.

The only reason I am blogging now (on a friend's computer) is to share how amazing these women are and how amazing Kauai has been and I am pretty sure I will be here again and do more retreats here in the future because there are only a few places one can do such deep healing in so much beauty.

If Hawaii is not in your future any time soon, don't worry, you can still access the benefits from what I have gained here when I bring it back this new year. But before I leave Hawaii, I will be streaming a very cool workshop December 5 wherein we will be utilizing the power of the islands and beaming that to you in your living room to activate your throat chakra and the power of your voice.

Aloha and Mahalo.

Thursday, September 24, 2015

What I Did This Summer and What's Next

I don't feel like writing an essay about my summer, but it feels like I need so share so much. Suffice it to say (for now) that it was epic and healed everything.  I traveled a bit both on and off planet. I did 40 days of 2.5 hours of Long Ek Ong Kaars in honor of Yogi Bhajan's birthday (bless that man) which helped to heal everything. Yes. Everything. It was super intense and took some time to process, but it did the job I guess. I am not normally so intense about Sadhana but I sort of got roped into it and saw what I could do, then I kept up. Now 2.5 hour sadhana seems like no big deal when I was doing a 2.5 hour meditation in addition to some yoga and my other meditations.

Wow. Who knew the subconscious mind was so deep and so full of garbage. But I guess when you are as old as I am (eons old I'm guessing) then it accumulates. Now I feel shiny and new and amazing and as I step into fully creating each day based on what's here an not what was affecting me from the past, I am so excited to create and share and help others even more.

As you may know I was in Salt Lake City, Utah this summer, which is not my home and I haven't ever really wanted to live there or spend much time there (I'm an ocean girl), but I answered the call with an open heart and had a good time and did a lot of good, I feel. At the end of the summer I was feeling super torn about what to do next. It felt like some timelines had shifted and that maybe I needed to stay longer to accomplish some things here. So I found a new house that was not just for the summer, and Ack! I signed a year lease.

But just a few weeks into September, I was processing some big stuff (this was the tail of healing "everything") and I freaked out and had a chat with God.

I said, "I know you have work for me to do here, and I'm totally willing... but I am unhappy with some things and feel like I need to get away to fully heal and process. Can I have a transfer?"

And God said, "Sure." God is loving and said, "Why don't you go to Hawaii. I know you have been wanting to go back and I do have some work for you to do there."


"Sure. You are not trapped. My work is not so rigid. You should enjoy it and show others that they can enjoy it. If they choose to. Life is about joy and Love. So I'll send you to Hawaii and you can learn more about Love. You haven't learned it all, but you will. Remember that weaknesses become strengths and you will teach others as you master it."

So that's what I am doing. I'm moving to Kauai for a few months--so far as I know now. I guess moving is a strong word. I still have a house in Salt Lake. But I will not be visiting it for a while. :)

What will I do in Kauai?. One of the things I am going to do with my new perfectly healed second chakra is to create and write more. Creativity is just flowing now. I will be working on poetry and memoir. My spirit guides are excited to help me. They say that there are many gems that need to be "retrieved" and put onto paper in this world.

I have also been given the charge of helping women heal their femininity and restore their grace. So I'll be writing more about that, but the first thing I was told to do was to hold a special retreat for women, on the island of Kauai with that theme. So in the way things work out when you are in the flow, it has all come together and is already planned. And as a cosmic second witness I got an email from Hawaiian Airlines saying that airfare to Hawaii is amazingly low right now through mid November. The retreat is Nov 5-9, 2015. So that helps if women want to come from the mainland.

Hawaii's garden isle of Kauai.

There will be daily kundalini yoga, meditation, snorkeling and beach fun, healing sessions and discussion on the retreat theme including how to heal our sexual selves, restore our grace, and be the Love we were created to be. There will be daily delicious healthy vegetarian farm-to-table cooking, as well as plenty of relaxation and free time. 

Women are the foundation of our society. Now more than ever before, as we have transitioned into the feminine age, all the healing and changes women make will more powerfully affect their relationships, families, and the whole world.  To learn more and Register for the Retreat click here. 

Tuesday, September 22, 2015

A Little More Time And a Few More Monkeys

I have been thinking a lot about Moses. There was a moment when God became so fed up with the children of Isreal that he declared he would destroy them all and raise up a new covenant people. But because Moses pleaded with the Lord on their behalf, he changed the mind of God.

I have also been thinking of the parable of the vinyard in Jacob. The Lord of the vinyard is ready to burn it down and cut his losses but the servant keeps imploring him to wait a little longer. Do a little more pruning and grafting and see what happens. 

I feel that this is what happens. The timeline and destiny of the world changes day to day based on the prayers of the faithful servants. Someone told me a story about President Kimball (although she wasn't sure if it was him or President McKay so perhaps one of my readers will have a reference for me) about a time he was late for a meeting and his explanation was that he had received some revelation that Christ was coming soon and he had been pleading with the lord for a little more time to build up more righteous people on the earth. 

I keep feeling like we are getting more time. Things are still hastening, but there is no date stamp on things. And the whole way things play out could be different. 

I was recently reminded of the 100 monkeys again. I wrote a blog post about it last year. You can read it here.  I asked God how many enlightened monkeys there are in the world now (in America is what he is showing me) that can move a mountain with their faith and the number is now 85. That means only 15 more to get to 100!

If you know the study then you know once the population of monkeys who had adopted the new consciousness of washing their sweet potatoes rose to 100 suddenly all the monkeys on the whole island and actually whole chain of islands knew how to do it. 

I'm blessed to know many of these 85 people and hundreds more who are so close. So if you were thinking of maybe setting the intention to increase your faith or be more (rather than do more) I invite you to do so and join me. 

Sat nam

Monday, September 7, 2015

Introducing Some Cool Teachers

This summer I mentored 22 people who were crazy about Kundalini Yoga and wanted to become teachers.  First, I gotta say that if you want teach Kundalini yoga or if you just want to uplevel and toally change your life, a 200 hour level 1 teacher training is the absolute best thing I can think of to do it.

However, for those people who don't have a training within 300 miles of them or can't get a way for whole weekends or who just want a Christ-centered perspective on Kundalini Yoga to supplement their training, I created my mentorship program, or as I some times call it Level  Zero Teacher Training or Jedi Training.

Yogi Bhajan taught that every student should be a teacher. If you even know one meditation you should teach it. It's good to have a little bit more training though if you want to really teach classes and stuff, so I have been training select people for a few years now. Many of them have gone on to do Level 1 and some have not but are amazing teachers. I want to introduce just a few here for you now and I'll share some more later.

Santok Dev Kaur (Elyssa) is seriously cool and a great Kundalini Yoga teacher and a great writer too. She is blogging at I don't really read blogs but I read a few of her posts and was blown away. So maybe you will be too. She also has a cool class series she will be teaching soon about Becoming Like the Brother of Jared. I read the curriculm and almost cried it was so beautiful. Lots of people will uplevel from this series. She'll be teaching live in Provo, UT and it may be recorded and show up in if we are all lucky. Pray for that.

Seva Nam Kaur (Beth), Hari Sangat Kaur (Jeanne), and Roni Thompson are all graduates who live in the Seattle area and are already teaching at Sunrise Studios in Kent, Washington. Beth has a great series going on right now called Truing the Wheels Within You. It is all about the chakras. Check it out if you are in Seattle.

Seva Nam Kaur

Hari Sangat Kaur

Madison Waters, the awesome girl who shared her story on missionary anxiety on my blog a while ago, also just graduated from my mentorship and she will be teaching a cool series on Kundalini Yoga and Mental Health. She is also a Photographer and blogs here. She is also getting married soon so congratulations to her. It's a kundalini love story.  Here is a pic I took of her at my drum circle. Maybe one day she'll send me a yogi photo of her to replace this. Please. If you want for info on her class hit her up through one of her links.


Danica Rugg is an amazing teacher and she has an upcoming series on the Breath of Life that may be online. I have no link for her yet, but if you know her, hit her up for class info. 


I have also mentored amazing teachers in Idaho, Colorado, Wyoming, Arizona, Michigan, Japan, England, St Louis, Hawaii and beyond. I will write more about them soon and link to their stuff as they send it to me.

If you are interested in learning more about upcoming mentorships, you can email me for more information. I do not publicly advertise these trainings.

Wednesday, August 26, 2015

The Church of The Firstborn - The Ultimate Love Lesson

I will skip the rest of my Love Lessons journey and get to the most important stuff.  It feels like I need to say less nowadays and those who are ready will get it.

What I learned from my Love lessons is that Love is the beginning and the end. It is everything. If we are not Love then we are not fully alive. Love is not an emotion or sentiment. It is not something you do. It is something you are. The purpose of all religion and spirituality is to lead one to fully embody that identity. Religion and ordinances and yoga and mediation and healing... they are only steps, and everyone's path has different steps. Though I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and draw a lot of other truth into my circle from many other places, none of that matters so much if it doesn't bring me to be Love.

The truth is that there is a higher organization that is not governed by worldly structure. It is called the Church of the Firstborn. Jesus taught me about it.

The Church of the First born is a gathering of the uniquely righteous from among "every nation kindred tongue and people"

John Pontius wrote: "It may be important to note that the Church of the Firstborn is not an earthly organization. It does not own buildings or land and hold conference every six months. This is a sacred society whose highest officer is Jesus Christ and whose members are those who have been ushered into his presence and there received the endowment of Zion and thus membership in this august body."

In the early days of the Christian church there is evidence that there may have been both a general body of members and another, special body known to Paul as he wrote to them in his letter to the Hebrews  "To the general assembly and church of the firstborn..."(12:23)

According to the Doctrine and Covenants, the Church of the Firstborn enjoy the privilege of receiving the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven, to have the heavens opened to them.. and to commune with other member of the church of the Firstborn and to commune with God him/her self and with Christ. (D&C 107:19)

The Doctrine and Covenants mentions the Church of the Firstborn at least 10 times. It is something to consider and study. My understanding of it, from my experience, is that it is made of people who have learned to be Love. It is made up of saints who dwell in his presence. Who dwell continually in Love. It is made of up of yogis, saddhus, saints of every age and religion and race and tongue. Some living, some passed on and some in between living in some translated state.

Some Mormons think that only they can be members of the Church of the First born, and might ask what about the essential ordinances? And I ask in return, what about them? If they are essential then the members of this body have them. Remember that time is not a linear thing. To God, who exists in the eternal Now, all is as it should be. Just as Christ's Atonement was retro active and future active, so are any and all essentials. It is way more important to figure out Love than worry about who is going to be at the party with you. Just be Love. I can't tell you how to do it because it is not a doing thing. But I do believe it is a fruit of some things I have been doing, which have aided me in shedding all other identities and allowed me to be only the true identity.

Does this church have meetings? Yes. They do. And members may attend them without even knowing they have. But they are most love filled gatherings in the pluriverse and the love that radiates from these gatherings spreads so far and wide and is so strong these days that whole worlds benefit.  If you are curious about this, I invite you to join me. Ask and trust and let God lead you to Himself/Herself, which is the True You.

Many blessings. Sat Nam.

Love Lessons Part 6 - The Sea Turtle

I went to Hawaii in April and spent time on two islands. The island of Kawaii is very special. This is where I learned about Aloha. In Hawaii they use Aloha for hello, goodbye, and love. But Aloha is actually an inocation of the divine. So of course it is love. And Mahalo (traditionally thought of as the word for "thank you" is actually a blessing of the divine.

As you step off the plane in Kawaii you feel the aloha. Not all beaches or tropical islands in the world have the same energy. Some have very dark energy. Kawaii is peaceful and light and abundant and wild. I was there for a Level 2 Yoga course, which was challenging and which taught me a few things but the most important thing I learned in Kawaii happened in the ocean.

I was snorkeling on my day off and saw a sea turtle gliding along under the water. I matched her pace and swam up and down in undulating patterns. She poked her head up and I poked mine up. It was surreal to be with her. I had explored the whole reef and seen amazing colorful extraveganzas of fish, but nothing compared to her. We were in shallow water and there were no other fish or visible plant life. Hawaiian waters are so clear because they are basically a desert. There are very few micro-organizms to cloud the water.

I drifted with the current and watched her. Suddenly there were three turtles. Playing. They had no fear of me. It was like I didn't exist. They flew gracefully through the water with their lets like wings. There is a rule that you aren't supposed to touch them, so I didn't swim toward them I just floated. But the current began to draw me near to one... the one I had been following. She turned and looked at me and we made eye contact and she gave me a transmission mind-to-mind.

Not "the" turtle but another one. Mine was twice this size.

I knew it had happened but I couldn't say what it was she transferred to me with out words. but I had it. And later I would unpack it, slowly. Since then I have learned that it is about not needing words. It is about communicating and healing through your presence.

This is the essence of Sat Nam Rasayan. It is the heart of Christ consciousness.  Sat Nam Rasayan is the healing technology that Yogi Bhajan gave the world and Guru Dev Singh helped put into words and teach it. It was originally taught in silence. Transferred from master to student. Sat Nam Rasayan is not Kundalini Yoga. It comes out of the fruits of Kundalini Yoga though. It is about healing through your awareness and your presence. Sat Nam Rasayan means healing in the name. Which I believe is the essence of what Jesus Christ did. He did everything in his Father's name. Which is the name of Love. Which is all of our true identity.

True Divine Love heals without any techniques. When a person becomes the Love that they truly are, their true identity, people are healed just by being with them.

I know a few people like this. Not enough. Thankfully, I know the sea turtle, and she is there inside me every time I need an anchor to this peaceful, playful, Love Force.

Tuesday, August 11, 2015

Love Lessons Part 5 - Desires and Desireless

Amarjot and I looked forward to Sat Nam Fest so much. This year we planned to go for the whole event and the first two days proved to be as amazing as I hoped. Full of bliss and "super-concsious ecstasy." Then on the third day God put a teacher in front of me that I did not expect. She is not the kind of person I'd normally be drawn to as a teacher, but He told me that she was a teacher for me and that I should book a private Sat Nam Rasayan session with her.

So I did. When I went in to see her she asked if I wanted to work on anything specific. I thought no life is pretty good, but if you could help me release anything standing in my way of feeling superconscious ecstasy all the time, that would be great. She told me I would get bored of it. I would then be looking for the next thing.

I was totally offended. Guh! No I would Not!

She totally burst my bubble of bliss as I realized that I had fallen into the trap of getting attached to non-attachment. Attached to the bliss. And life is not always superconscious ecstasy but it can still be a life of Love. So I was a bit moody for a day and in a daze as I processed the fact that I was still getting caught in addictive patterns. Luckily, the work we did and that I was doing at Sat Nam Fest helped me clear it super fast. I realized how fast energy is moving through me now when I woke up in the night in my tent with a migraine and then thought, "oh well."

I woke up an hour later and it was gone. I woke up an hour later with another migraine and then in the morning it was gone again. I don't know what went through me but I was changed fast.

It's hard to describe how I felt after that other than just a little more stable, grounded.

We came home from Sat Nam Fest and had a few days to prepare for Hawaii. I spent those days thinking about God is Love. If God is Love then Love has all the attributes of God. One of my favorite mantras names eight different attributes of God. So I went through them one by one.

Gobinday (sustainer) - real Love sustains
Mukunday (liberator) -real Love liberates one from bondange. I believe I wrote about that here.
Udaray (enlightener) real Love enlightens--because God is Love and He enlightens.
Aparay (infinite) - Love is infinite. Real Love that is God is of course never ending and infinite
Hariang (Destroyer) - Love destroys illusions and sorrow. Real Love does. The false kind of love creates more illusions
Cariang (Creator) - Should need no explanation
Nirname (Nameless) - God has so many names and yet is nameless and has names that no man knows. It is the same with Love. So many names/faces and yet to truly know Love there is no name for what is found in the experience.
Akamay (Desireless) - no earthly desire. This was the Aha for me.

I was thinking about romantic love and how this had always been my problem. I wanted a lover For example, one X tall, Y shape, and with XYZ religious affiliation and liked to do ABC in his spare time. Some things on my list were flexible and some things I was really fixed on.  I realized that in several of my past relationships I had gotten everything on my "list," but they didn't make me happy, and several of the things that I "got" suddenly changed and I no longer had them. Such as a man who was mentally healthy--that changed quickly. Physical health can change quickly. Also, membership or activity in the church can change quickly.  So what does a person do then, when they are suddenly married to a person, or in some sort of partnership with a person who is no longer what they had signed up for? I realized that true Love is not about wanting someone to be any certain way or a certain thing. It is about loving them for who they are and where they are at the moment. Most people just want to feel accepted and loved for who they are. That's why we have all the problems we have in the world. People are just mad that they don't or didn't feel loved unconditionally. Most relationships I see are strained because of wanting the other party to be different.

I realized that if my only desire was for God, then it wouldn't matter what my partner said or did or was, because I would know with absolute certainty that I was loved and accepted. And when I can radiate that same love and acceptance for others, life is a lot more joyful. There is no struggle. No tension.

I realized that any time I feel tension in any relationship it is because I have got attached to wanting the other person to be a certain way or to think the way I do. The trouble with a point of view is that it already creates a separateness. If you become very fixed in your ideas and beliefs, then you have to defend them, and it creates need-to-be-right syndrome. This creates a lot of tension in relationships and in the body. Why does one need to be right? Why not just be with God and ask God to show you himself in the other person. If we all did this there could be world peace. [It would take the world some daily cleaning of the mind's reactionary patterns and feelings of unworthiness, but it would be worth it, don't you think?]

In fact I just read a scripture this morning that illustrated the sad point of what happens when people get fixed in their beliefs even if they seem to be in the name of love. It was Mosaih 9:1-2. So sad.

I, Zeniff, having been taught in all the language of the Nephites, and having had a knowledge of the land ofNephi, or of the land of our fathers’ first inheritance, and having been sent as a spy among the Lamanites that I might spy out their forces, that our army might come upon them and destroy them—but when I saw that which was good among them I was desirous that they should not be destroyed.
 Therefore, I contended with my brethren in the wilderness, for I would that our ruler should make a treaty with them; but he being an austere and a blood-thirsty man commanded that I should be slain; but I was rescued by the shedding of much blood; for father fought against father, and brother against brother, until the greater number of our army was destroyed in the wilderness; and we returned, those of us that were spared, to the land of Zarahemla, to relate that tale to their wives and their children.

So I idendified some of the most fixed "desires of my heart" and examined them. Even though they seemed like really good desires that I have been taught to want my whole life, I realized that they were the things causing me the most pain, because I had no control over them and they were not actually what mattered most. When I turned my desire completely to God and not any earthy desire, including love relationships, I realized that I had something better. Then amazing things started to open for me and my earthly relationships got way better! I was finally getting this Love thing. Which is a perfect time to go to Hawaii.

Until that episode, please share: Have you had an experience where you released wanting people or a specific person to be a certain way. Please share your experience.