Thursday, November 29, 2018

Happy New Year To Me

This time of year is always a kind of rebirth for me so I figured it would be good to look back on the last year.

Here is what I have been up to and learning and doing this year.

I got married as you know. I am very happy. I realize I have had a relationship addiction for most of my life (it's sometimes called co-dependency) and I have managed that addiction and the pain of it for the last decade mostly by not dating. But it didn't really work. I still have a daughter and friends and you can become co-dependent with anyone. So I have dealt with it through yoga and meditation and lot of other healing and just in the last year it's like I broke through to a whole new level of being. Being married now is a different experience than it was the last two times (both a long time ago--before I was really deep into my practice).

I think I got into a long-distance marriage because I thought it would make this easier for me to not have co-dependent issues come up. It is easier. FOR SURE. Not having him around all the time lets me have time to process, re-ground, find my center, and not get too attached to what he is doing or how he is doing it.

Our Portugal trip was great because I had a chance to see how I did being with him that many days in a row. I did pretty good at speaking up for what I needed, being loving, but not taking responsibility for his wellness or happiness and not getting too controlling or involved in his addictions. (We all have them) For the most part it was the best trip ever. A few breakdowns which let to breakthroughs. It's wonderful having a partner who does sadhana with me every day. It moves so much energy so quickly.

It was hot in September in Protugal. Beach then palace day.

Me at Pena Palace in Sintra, Portugal

Kayaking through caves and grottos in Lagos, Portugal

We got an unexpected night in Paris

At the beach at sunset

Visiting a moorish castle. 

Some people might not like this idea, but for us, it has created so much healing: We think of our marriage as a two-year renewable contract. Because the thought of forever makes us both feel trapped and want to sabotage. And sabotage now. Immediately. So we both agreed to review in 2 years and either re-up, or celebrate and move on. In a weird way it makes me feel so much more stable and able to appreciate him.

This year I have also been guided to a whole new level of prosperity learnings this year. It's a amazing how many people are not cool with money. I used to be not cool with money. Having it. Not having it. There was no peace for a lot of years. I've stabilized that energy and created some deep healing for myself and other. My money healing was very tied in with Men and Marriage for me. The three M's. So as I healed my money I also healed my issues with men and marriage-- not surprising that I got married in the process. Ok, it was surprising! In a great way.

So yeah. I am excited to create Zion where we all live in peace and there are no poor among us and we have no need for money as we know it-- but along the way I am helping people be ok and cool with money. I am helping them heal their trauma from childhood and their worry and their anxiety and build prosperous businesses using spiritual principles of compression of time and effort. I'm helping them see that Jesus wants them to work smarter not harder and prosper and help others. I have been focusing on a select group of people (yogis and self-care professionals) and helping them increase their income so they can do good things with it. I spent all summer creating a program for those people. I wish it was for everyone. But alas, for now, it's not. And it's an invite only program, so you can't find it on my site. My jaw is dropping at the the results people are already getting. Wahe Guru! Transformation is powerful and available if you are willing to put in the energy.

One other thing I have been doing all year is writing a lot. I am in grad school! Because I can! and I wanted to! I'm getting a masters in creative writing.  Poetry is my emphasis but I'm also working on a middle-grade fantasy novel. And let me tell you, writing is fun. But it can also be the most challenging thing in the world to give yourself the time and space to be creative. The resistance this year has been huge. But I will keep up!  Here is a fun poem I wrote that is not too cheesy about my husband. Enjoy this window into my my love.

Sonnet #Fred

Here I’ll write a sonnet for my lover Fred
whose is a great poetic name because
So many words rhyme it, like bed, or wed
See, now I spent already two great ones.
But I’ll keep at it. Fred deserves a sonnet,
And more—there ought to be a postage stamp
Of Fred, though he would never want it.
All he wants are my small hands on his back,
Vast continent with the phoenix tattoo
Open-winged, resurrecting, and on fire.
Fred’s the thing I wish that younger me knew.
My burned hands only just re-inspired,
Open secret doors behind shrug and run. 
Here, look! Sudden sense of perfect freedom.

Monday, November 26, 2018

Do You Want Your Children Turn Out Okay?

My girl is the blonde one with the perfect "o" shaped mouth. Singing mantras on stage with Mirabai.

Two general conferences ago I was listening and I heard this. "If you want your children to turn out ok, teach them their divine identity."  And I swear it was the prophet or Pres Eyring who said it. I've gone back to look and I have found similar language but not the exact quote.  Maybe it was personal revelation for me because it sure seemed like it was in golden billboard sized letters coming off the screen.

Lately I have been thinking about "the young people." I was given a blessing when I was 14 (Patriarchal Blessing if you know what that is) that said that I would be a teacher among the young people, and among others. So I have been thinking about how to reach "young people" and help them learn their divine identity.

The best way in the world that I know is to teach them to meditate. Communing with their soul and their creator every day even for just 3 minutes will give them such a huge advantage over all that they face.

So I'm starting a 42 day challenge. It's for you though! Because you are the best ones to influence your children and the young people around you. When you practice, they see you. When you play mantras in your home, they get into their subconscious mind. When you change your lifestyle to be more conscious, it changes theirs.

Here is how it works.  Everyone can enter, and there are PRIZES, because that's fun!

If you are just beginning your practice, I have resources to help you--I highly recommend my Christ-Centered Kundalini Yoga and Meditation 101 course. It's on super amazing sale right now and it will give you a basic foundation of how and what to do (and also the why).

Every purchase of the 101 course gets 20 entries into the final drawing. You can also get more entries by posting pictures of you meditating and if you get a pic of your kids or other littles joining you, that's even better. Please post them on FB and on IG with the hastag #treeoflifemeditationchallenge  #treeoflifekundaliniyoga or tag me @namjotikaur on IG.

You can also get entries by blogging, referring friends (if they get the 101 course you both get 20 entries).

The grand prize is $500 cash. Other prizes include a copy of my book, a beautiful prayer mala, itunes gift card, and an advanced KY class of your choice form my store. There will be 5 winners, unless I decide to give away more.

I'll draw the winners Valentines Day! So if you start any time in December you can pass 42 days by V-Day. Oh and I picked 42 days instead of 40 to remind you that 40 days is not a goal, it's a milestone. Keep going after that!

You'll be amazed how much your family will benefit. Comment if you are in!

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Remember That Time...

Remember that time when you wanted to kick that bad habit of [you name it], and you did?

Remember that time you wanted to [find a partner], and you did?

Remember that time you wanted to be [a mom/dad], and now you are?

Remember that time you wanted to own a [house/car/etc] and now you do?

Remember that time you wanted to travel to [insert your place!] and you did!

Remember that time that you wanted to [do something bad ass and challenging] and you did?

Remember that time you wanted to create something beautiful, and you did?

I have been playing the remember game this week. One of my clients made me think of it. It's super powerful. You can only remember things you DID. And it's fun to play with others you know well or even a little bit.

So many times we see only what we haven't got yet or are struggling to beat, and not the fact that we usually DO accomplish what we desire. 

It may take longer than we think or than we'd like. But if it takes a long time, it could be it was harder than we thought. And therefore even more worthy of our efforts.

Why do we desire the things we desire? Sometimes it feels like it would be easier to just desire nothing-- but we are born with our varying degrees of desire. It's part of us. And I feel that what you desire is not random.  I love to think of something said often in  Yogananda's book: "The divine wish is expressed through you." So celebrate all your divine accomplishments!

Try playing this game this week with friends and family. It's contagious and it's a positive way to use your voice and your words this full moon when everything is amplified.

Feel free to share something you wanted to do and then did in the comments below. Don't be shy. You are wonder. 

Saturday, July 21, 2018

Guess What

I got married.

I've been keeping my love life quiet for a long time. Much of that time it was because there wasn't much happening. It was a choice. Then I made a different choice and was really truly ready (not just telling myself I was ready) and then of course it was only about 2 days and he showed up in my orbit and I did lots of the mental work to conquer all the fears and clear all the PTSD that came with being in a relationship that I knew was headed toward marriage.

I'm so grateful I did! At every milestone of commitment I received so much healing. And so when he asked me to marry him and I said yes and we were thinking about how to do this wedding thing, I knew I just wanted the benefits of the next level of healing. So we eloped. Last month. It was amazing. Here is a video with some pictures.

We got married under a giant mother oak tree in a secret garden in Ojai by a friend and only 2 people were there besides us and my daughter and of course, my wonderful photographer friend.

I did have an interesting thing happen during the ceremony. Right before I was supposed to say "I do," I fainted--or that's what it looked like to everyone else.  But I think I left my body and was with the angels for a while (felt like weeks of floating on a peaceful bliss cloud) and then they sent me back to my body with some sort of healing I needed right before entering this new phase of my life. Then I came to and at first was very confused but then I realized where I was and I said "I do!" Then there was a lot of laughing. For days. I was so blissed out. It was amazing. Still am.

So maybe I'll write more later but for now,  here's what everyone wants to know.

We met online.
He lives out of state still so he commutes here on the weekends till he can find a job and move here to Ojai full time)
He does a 2 hour morning kundalini yoga and meditation practice with me every day (online)
He was baptized Catholic at birth, loves Jesus, and loves all religions and spirituality.
He goes to church with me every Sunday he is in town.
My daughter loves him.
He loves her.
We don't plan on having any more children at this time.
He is originally from San Diego and Ventura county and lived here most of his life.
He is outdoorsy and smart. His job right now involves protecting the environment.

Monday, June 4, 2018

Providing- The Next Level

A few years ago or more I went on a prosperity journey. I have really been on it this whole time, but sometimes you don't realize you are moving till the big leaps. I recently had a big leap. And just so the universe could prove it to me, a grasshopper landed on my yoga mat while I was doing a prosperity kriya, and stayed till I was done. I looked up grasshopper medicine in my favorite animal totem site and they explained that the grasshopper is symbolic of leaping forward, as well as other things.

Just to be clear, prosperity encompasses a lot of things, not just money, but lets talk about money. It's the big one. I had some bad programming about money for a long time. I made huge progress a few years ago using my awesome tools and I felt like I had it all figured out. God was my rich father, and I was all taken care of. Nothing left to worry about. I put in my order, and like a vending machine, what I wanted or needed showed up. I have written several blog posts about this in the past, and one that stands out particularly to me right now about providing for women.  In it, I basically said I had it all figured out (because I had dealt with all my limiting unconscious beliefs) and I encouraged everyone to root out their own limiting beliefs.

Well..... Ha hahahahahaha. There was more to learn. It seems that there are always higher laws and the Soul doesn't rest for long before it is ready to progress again.

Basically for the last year and a half or more I was in this weird place of struggle. I was living a life of bounty and was surrounded by abundance. I live in a citrus orchard for heavens sake. If you want to understand abundance, go visit a citrus orchard. There is so much abundance that nature can drop half of it on the ground and there is still plenty for all. Yet I wasn't fully partaking.

God was showing me: this is how abundant I am, and how it can be for you.  Yet a lot of areas of my life were not working that way. It seemed that I was energetically vomiting up the prosperity that They kept trying to give me--not just financial, but in other ways, too. I'll get to that later.

I have had about a billion new downloads this spring that I am ready to share with everyone who is ready to receive them, but I can't do it all in one blog post. So I'm preparing a webinar presentation soon. But for now, I want to share a couple of things about providing because I can't just leave that old post out there without an updated next level now that I understand there is another level.

Let's skip all the back story even though it is important. No one seems to have an attention span for blog posts anymore. Here are the cliff notes.

After the Thomas fire, I had to do some healing so I was doing it with a great person I trust. (Every good therapist has one!) One of my big issues was with the word "Enough."  There are lots of good connotations for that word-- such as the hebrew root: "to rest," and the Hawaiian meaning: "connected to God." But in my subconscious enough was a trigger. Nothing about it worked no matter how I spun it. We discovered that the image I associated with the word enough was an image of my mother emaciated and dying of cancer. She was in her bed and someone came over and brought her a tangerine. She hadn't eaten much fruit in a couple years because she had been on a special diet trying to cure herself of cancer. At this point, I think she knew cancer was going to win and so she ate the tangerine. And she was obsessed with how yummy it was. She couldn't believe it.

That memory is sad to me. The way I saw it, she didn't enjoy the sweetness of life for so many years because she was trying to fight cancer. And who knows maybe her diet did help her, and maybe there were other forms of sweetness in her life...but in my subconscious, I saw this as really unfair. 

It's super ironic that I now live in a TANGARINE orchard. And though I have been enjoying the sweetness of a lot of tangerines, in a other ways I was doing the same thing as I saw my mother--living in a flow of sweetness and not able or allowing myself to enjoy it fully.

Why was I doing this? Only now do I know that in some twisted way, my subconscious was producing this behavior as a way of making life fair.  If my mother didn't get to, then I shouldn't either.

Wow! Perfect logic to the child-like subconscious, but not at all serving my life now. So I changed the program, using one of the many tools in my vast toolbox. Immediately, the vending machine seemed to be turned on again. I was offered some huge prosperity miracle--an impossible thing that became possible, worth many thousand of dollars. I also had my daughter's school agree to adopt a yoga curriculum. I had been a little unhappy with the way her last year at school went. I wasn't going to send her back to school there. I was not sure where I was going to send her. I was thinking I would have to start my own middle school where we did yoga every day. But now I don't have to. Her school was perfect, it just needed yoga every day. Now she will get that, and all the kids at the school will benefit!

Even though I thought I had dropped back into the flow, I wasn't done yet. Not long after, another huge trigger word came up about providing. If you read my old blog post you can tell I really hated the idea of a woman "providing." I was ok with women working and having careers and being power people but I felt like they shouldn't have to provide. It was like a dirty word.

When I did the work I saw I had a false belief that someone else should provide for me because I was not capable. Which is weird because I obviously think I'm capable enough to start my own school or write a book or make a movie or travel the world or help people heal from serious trauma.

The image associated with the word provide was a spider sucking the blood of a fly. Ha! I had all these distorted ideas, probably from Mormon collective consciousness, that the man is supposed to do that job and if I do it I am usurping the man's role and I'll emasculate him or I might not ever get a man that provides because why should he when I am already doing it. I'd just attract takers who will suck me dry, etc, etc. Those were the hidden fears and beliefs.

The thing about false beliefs is that when we don't know they are false and we believe them we only see evidence that supports them as being true. That's how the mind words. Tricky. This is why it's manifestly helpful to have a teacher or therapist who understands the subconscious and can help you identify the blocks when you are ready.

I felt frustrated a lot the last year and a half because things didn't come as easy. I used to be able to just give that to God and let HIM take care of it. And it wasn't working that way anymore.  I kept thinking I was doing something wrong or that God had abandoned me for some unknown reason.

What was happening was that in most areas of my life I was unified with God: creating, capable and prosperous. But In the things I classified under the subheading of "providing," I was not unified w God. I was giving away my power and hoping someone else would do it for me.

What did this look like? Well, I could buy tickets to Europe or to the opera, no worries. I could feel fine buying things for decorating the house, but paying for the house or groceries or paying for school tuition was super stressful to me.

I couldn't let it go using my "figure it out brain."  I had to use some tools I had that would take me to a higher level. What tools and how is for another conversation. But magically, after years and years of this pattern, poof.

I felt the change. I looked out the window at the cute succulent palate against the guest house wall and thought about how God and I together (unified) can easily provide both the necessities and the beautifies of life for my family. And how a good man (like my current sweet heart) can do the same. Both partners can do both. Neither has a monopoly on one way of working with God. 

And though in the past, church leaders may have felt and said that fathers/men were best equipped to provide the temporal needs of the family and the mothers/women to do the nurturing, I realize that our understanding of these words, and the idea of equal partnership, needs to be examined. When my eyes were opened, there were much deeper layers. 

I keep thinking how Jesus Christ contained all the qualities that are sometimes divided up in the masculine and feminine traits. But he contained all of them and so in order for us to be like Jesus we need to each (male or female) develop all of them too.

Then when both parties in a partnership contain all these qualities and are truly equal partners, it creates such a powerful prosperity energy!  Some of the back story I skipped is that I have been dating a wonderful and stable man who is both a provider and a nurturer.  I just didn't know this was possible because I didn't know there were men like him. I have only been able to see and allow this as I have changed my false beliefs. It's been a slow un-peel. But not that slow, I guess. Some people never get out of their patterns--especially financial patterns.  

So since this healing it is just as joyful to earn the money that goes for the house payment as it is to earn money that goes for the retreat to somewhere great. Because they have to get paid, so I might as well let go of resentment about it and enjoy co-creating with God. So while I enjoyed prosperity before, there seemed to be a flux around the days "provider-type" bills were due! Now my client schedule is steadily full with people happily paying my full rate. I will soon have to start a waiting list for new clients. But they won't have to wait too long, because I am doing the best work of my life (with God) and people are leaping and healing so quickly. My retreats are selling out. But the biggest prosperity in my life is that my boyfriend (now fiancee) does sadhana with me every day, and my daughter is happier than she has been in a few years. God and I! Providing bountifully together. Yay! 

I acknowledge that there will always be more to learn, and things will shift again and again as life shifts. Providing is a practice I now see as not just temporal but deeply spiritual as well. 

*I wish I could write a whole book with my recent mind exploding downloads but you'd have to wait a year or more. So stay tuned to my newsletter and I'll be sharing some prosperity healing and leaping tools and practices in a webinar soon.

Thursday, May 24, 2018

It's Official - Level One Teacher Training Coming to Idaho in 2019

I have an announcement to make.

Prayers, miracles, changing outcomes through the radiant body: all those are a real thing. And thanks to them, I can make this announcement today:

KRI Certified Level One Kundalini Yoga Teacher Training is coming to the beautiful and serene land of Southeast Idaho in the spring-summer of 2019.

This is something I dreamt of being a part of for a few years, but didn't know how it would ever happen. Also, this teacher training will never be held on a Sunday, which is important for me, and I know for some of my people who would like to attend. To do this, we had to structure the training in a unique way--which could be a challenge for some--but it will also be more convenient for those who are traveling a repeated number of times to attend it (like me, and the other trainers.) There are a few other super special things about this training, but I can't unveil them all now. You will learn about them as you register and prepare to join us there.

So I invite you to check it out and register early if you are interested. There are early rates and payment plans.

If you don't know, Level One teacher training is a 200 hour yoga teacher training that only happens in person and you get certified through the Kundalini Research Institute. And it will transform your life.

All the details are at this link.  But I have also listed the dates below for your convenience. The training location is approximately 30 minutes from Pocatello, 7 miles from Lava Hot Springs, and 1.25 hours from Idaho Falls, and an hour from Logan Utah. There are accommodations on site for an extra nightly fee. But they are limited and all this should also be reserved early.

This training will take place over 4 weeks spaced between April and September. Training weeks begin Monday mid-afternoon and end mid-day Saturday. There are no trainings on Sundays.

April 15-20, 2019
​May 27-Jun 1, 2019
July 22-27, 2019
September 9-14, 2019

Learn More Or Reserve Your Space Here

*Nursing babies are welcome at the training. However, older children are welcome to stay home with other caregivers. Pls contact us with specific questions.

Thursday, April 26, 2018

Poetry of Portugal

This week I announced that I will be hosting a retreat in Portugal in September of this year (2018). In anticipation of that I have been getting to know Portugal by it's poets. One in particular I have already fallen in love with: Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen. She recently passed in 2004 but her poetry is all super concrete, accessible, and well, just gorgeous. She achieves a lot with a little. (Most of her poems are short.) I'll share one here:


Green-muscled ocean
Idol of many arms like an octopus
Convulsive incorruptible chaos
Ordered tumult
Contorted dancer
Surrounding the taut ships

We traversed row on row of horses
Shaking their manes in the trade winds

The sea turned suddenly very young and very old
Revealing beaches
And a people
Of just-created men still the colour of clay
Still naked still in awe
Translation: 2004, Richard Zenith 

I thought I wanted to do a retreat in Croatia, but Portugal kept calling me back to it, especially the beauty and wildness of the southern region called the Algarve. There is something about the beaches and the mountains and the stars that calls surfers and poets and yogis alike. And suppose I am all three. So it will be a retreat with all of those things in it. I expect that it will be different than any other retreat I have done. I can't say exactly how, but I can tell you it will be cozy, fun, poetic, creative and healing.

The theme is rebirthing, but people don't really come for a theme-- they come because their hearts call them. I think maybe this time I will call in more couples, and maybe more Europeans or East Coast yogis. I find, and you can verify if this is true for you, that as soon as I announce a retreat or as soon as people commit to coming, we all start to feeling it working on us already. So by the time we get there, the healing, the land, the space is already gently in process. I already feel a great sense of wellness and possibility.

One of the best things I have ever heard said about poetry was by Neil Gaiman. In a short story he wrote, he essentially said that you can't hear a poem without it changing you-- that in essence, it colonizes you. I like that. And so here is one more poem by Sophia de Mello Breyner Andresen that will hopefully colonize you. And maybe you will want to come to Portugal and experience whatever it is we will experience together.

The Navigators

Multiplicity makes us drunk
Astonishment leads us on
With daring and desire and calculated skill
We've broken the limits -
But the one God
Keeps us from straying
Which is why at each port we cover with gold
The sombre insides of our churches

Translation: 2004, Richard Zenith 

Here are a few pictures and a link to learn more and register if it's calling to you. It will be a small retreat, so please register soon. Early bird pricing ends April 30, 2018.

Learn more and Register Here Now