Saturday, November 28, 2015

Leaving Hawaii

am getting ready to leave Hawaii and feeling many different feelings. I am sad to leave but I also have a few things I won't miss-- like the mosquitos. Also, it's not like I came from a bad place. My California home is also like paradise most of the year. And I miss the heck out of that place. I also miss being dry and wearing dry clothes sometimes. Amarjot misses her best friends. She has made many new ones but there is nothing like the old ones. Yet I know once we leave here we will both miss Hawaii every day for the rest of our lives. 

The ocean is the biggest thing we will miss. It's warm. Clear to the bottom. When you get in it, all your cares float away. It works that way in California too, but not as easy to get in it this time of year. (Cold!)
Then there is the fruit. What can I say? If you have never had a local mango in Hawaii from Hawaii in its season. It's worth the airfare. Then there are all other magical fruits you maybe never heard of: star fruit, rombutan, dragon fruit, lilikoi-- I could wax poetic. 

All the things I wanted to happen while I was here happened. Like rebirthing my creative self and learning more about Hawaiian Shamanism and some other things that I put on my list. 

Amarjot became an even more hard core surfergirl. I'm afraid there is no going back for her. She's addicted to catching the next wave. She is so tan she looks native. 

But I am excited to put roots back down in our home land of California. We aren't far from the ocean and I can buy her a wetsuit if she notices that it's colder. Kids don't seem to notice the temperature though. She will go in the ocean no matter what. 

I also will miss the pace here. Or maybe it's not a pace so much as a mentality. My friend came to visit from the mainland and couldn't understand why the chocolate store wouldn't be open on Black Friday. The chocolate store in Hanalei is rarely open. I have only seen them open twice. They keep random hours despite thier posted sign. She said: "but I can't believe they'd want to miss out on all that business!"

I can understand it. Maybe they want to go to the beach too. It's not all about the dollar here. It's about enjoying the life. I hope I can take that mentality back to the mainland with me and share it in a loving way. 

I have learned so much and grown so much. If you have come for healing, Kauai makes you heal--but in a nice way. Everything I thought I was or was becoming was burned away. Then in the midst of the burning mother Kauai sends a gentle rain or a rainbow. 

 I recently did a rebirthing workshop where Yogi Bhajan said that the more distance you have from your identity the more you can heal. So I am keeping a healthy distance from identity and also from the need for identity. This is tricky. The only way is to just be. Hour by hour. Wave by wave. Dish by dish. Drop by drop. Page by page. With a little help from my friends. 

The future will be beautiful if I approach now with innocence and faith. 

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Kauai Greetings

Chicken Plus Poetry is the name of my favorite instagram profile. Here is a great example of one.

Wherever I am, I am what is missing.

That's how I feel. If you haven't kept up, I am in Kauai now. Have been here more than a month. Here is a short summary of my days here:

Sleep, meditate, write, read, gasp at beauty, eat mangos, surf, swim, sun, little rain, sun, rinse and repeat.

Maybe I did come here sort of to run away from some things. But running away has it's beauty too.

Sometimes you can't see where you are from where you are standing.

The beauty here is not just in the landscape and the ocean and colors and light, though that is breath robbing. There is much beauty here because there is much beauty everywhere in the world, but there is an energy here of healing and Aloha, and a culture supportive of stopping and gasping. It's similar, in a way, to my hometown of Ojai, only more tropical. In Thailand they have a saying "Same. Same. But Different." That's how it is. Same same but different.

In Kauai I have also have had the space and time to read all kinds of things I've wanted to read just because they are beautiful. I have spent whole days reading and days exploring and I have written lots of haiku in notebooks. One day I swam in an underground lake inside a cave and had to swim through a portal into another cave called the blue room. As I swam through the opening I remembered that I had dreamt about this dozens of times since childhood. In the dream the swim through the tunnel was terrifying. In the real experience, I was somewhere between nervous and mermaid.

Mother Kauai has a way of offering you the healing you seek, even if you didn't know what it was that still needed to heal. Mine has been a creative recovery of my inner artist, which has been blocked for a few years, and with that creativity, I also recovered my magical inner child, my femininity, my grace, and so much more.

I was so blessed to be able to share some of this with all the beautiful women to came to my retreat a week or so ago. They were so amazing. Their progress was amazing in just a few days! But look what changes Alma made in a few days. And Paul. And Jesus. He did something cool in 3 days.

I made a few video interviews of them on the last day. If they look sad it's because they are leaving. They are amazing. You will be blown away if you watch these videos. Julie has lost a 100 lbs since starting her KY journey in May. Jo is doing an amazing job healinng from her huband's suice. Taranjot use to never allow herself to be photographed... Now look at her. She is so beautiful!

The cool thing about doing healing and chanting and prayers in Kauai is that there is nothing to the north except the north pole. Nothing to the south except the south pole. Surrounded by water, which is a superconductor, it can send the prayers out like a ripple around the whole entire world.

I haven't written much on my blog since I have been here, mainly because I got a clear message to take a break from blogging. Just in cast it wasn't clear enough, my computer keyboard stopped typing the N and the O key--as if passive aggressively saying NO.

The only reason I am blogging now (on a friend's computer) is to share how amazing these women are and how amazing Kauai has been and I am pretty sure I will be here again and do more retreats here in the future because there are only a few places one can do such deep healing in so much beauty.

If Hawaii is not in your future any time soon, don't worry, you can still access the benefits from what I have gained here when I bring it back this new year. But before I leave Hawaii, I will be streaming a very cool workshop December 5 wherein we will be utilizing the power of the islands and beaming that to you in your living room to activate your throat chakra and the power of your voice.

Aloha and Mahalo.