Wednesday, May 9, 2012

Swimming Deeper- Anger Journey Part 2

If you missed Part One, read it here. 

The first thing I did was add a meditation for releasing anger and negativity into my morning practice. It is 3 minutes long. (I'll post it at the end of this post). That is the maximum time allowed for this meditation. Could 3 minutes really be enough to release all my anger? I was sure that it wasn't, so I called my hypnotherapist/mentor and told him, with some glee, that I was angry. "I'm not in denial about it. Hooray!" I said. "Progress."

I wanted to go and have him fix me up--take away all the problems/pain (like many people expect me to do for them), but, wisely, he steered me back to the meditation. He said it just sounded right to be releasing a little bit at a time. Then he said, "Anger is normal." This was not meant to be profound. But it was the turning point in my anger releasing mission. Somehow in all my self improvement who-hah and not feeling angry for a while (or not much), I forgot that anger is normal. It's just a feeling.

I learned this a few years ago when I read Harriet Lerner's The Dance of Anger. She compares it to being thirsty. Do I question the validity of my thirst? Do I think, I can't be thirsty again, I just drank a glass of water 30 minutes ago? I drank a gallon yesterday. Surely I should not be thirsty?

No. I just get a glass of water.

If I don't get water, I will eventually get sick and die. But for many reasons Lerner points out, angry women are viewed negatively in society, which causes us not to use our anger in productive ways. We either suppress it and become nice ladies who are really making ourselves sick inside, or vent it at men and get called bad names and make little progress that way either.

So I revisited her book to see what I could learn. In the beginning she offers advice on how to use the book--very slowly.

What? Slowly. I want to be on the other side of this now. I want happy, compassionate, loving feelings.

But I knew she was right. Anger is a great catalyst for change. But change freaks people out. Other people feel threatened when we change, and part of us feels threatened too. Lerner counsels not to try to change everything all at once or you'll just encounter so much resistance from the relationships involved, and it will be so anxiety provoking for you that it is easier to just go back to the status quo.

Hmm. I took a deep breath. I didn't have to have it all figured out by tomorrow. When I read this I was sitting under a beautiful purple tree on a park bench, waiting for my daughter. I looked up and felt the breeze tell me it was right to slow down. I let the breeze remind me to breathe into the discomfort a little and examine it. 

What I do know is that there is an enormous amount of energy in anger. But directed inacurately or randomly vented, it just wastes energy and keeps people stuck in the same situation. The first thing I needed to do was figure out what I was angry about and how was I going to use it to create change. I needed to know what the war was really about before I marched off into it. I thought I knew what it was about (the way my ex and his wife are treating my daughter), but what I have been doing the last several years hasn't been working, so clearly I'm not clear how to use it. So I decided to sit with it, keep meditating, get drink of water, swim deeper and see what happened.


Sit in Rock Pose (on heels) or Easy Pose (cross-legged) with slight neck lock. (chin slightly pulled inward) so spine is strait)

Eyes are closed. 

Mudra: Touch each thumb to the base of the Mercury (pinky) fingers. close the rest of the fingers over the thumbs to form fists. Raising the arms, begin a backstroke type movement over the head, alternating each side (right/left) as you swing up, over and back around again, just like you are doing the backstroke in a swimming pool.

Breath: Through O-shaped mouth, begin strong, rhythmic inhale/exhale in sync with arm movements. The breath becomes a breath of fire through the mouth. Keep the lips in an O-shape throughout the meditation.

The mudra, movement and breathing are continuous and strong.

Intentionally think about anything and everything that makes you angry, weird, negative or commotional. Continue this focus on bringing up the anger and negativity throughout the meditation, increasing the movement and breath.

Continue this movement for 3 minutes. Do not exceed 3 minutes.

To End: Interlock the fingers, stretch the arms up over the head, palms facing up, deep inhale throught he O mouth--picture yourself surrounded in white, healing light--hold the breath for 10 seconds, exhale out the O mouth. Repeat this ending breath 3 times.

For visual learners, I made videos: Here is the anger meditation. Which, interestingly looks like the backstroke. Sort of. With any meditation, always make sure you tune in first and tune out at the end.

Tune In

Anger Meditation
Tune Out


  1. I have a request/suggestion. I'm sure I'm among the FEW, but I do not have a timer, as such, that I could use for the anger meditation. But since I found your YouTube, I'm planning to try the breathing meditation. I think I would benefit from the anger meditation, too, which brings me to the request. Do you think you would be willing/able to do the full mediation (less tune in/tune out since they are already up) so that I (or anyone else) could do it with you and not worry about the 3 minute timer issue?

    I haven't ever studied WITH anyone to learn meditation and other forms of focus on God and the Divine, but I have done many types in the past, my favorite being guided imagery. Anyway... my point? Well, I've read a little (books, mostly) about meditation and the power inherent in meditation, but I've never run across head covering. On a quick search, I found that some believe it increases focus and/or decreases the need to concentrate, but that's more when the whole head is covered, not as in covering only the crown chakra. I guess I'm wondering: What benefit could/does covering your head/crown chakra provide?

    My concern is the possible inhibiting of the increased processing of orgone possible during meditation if covered. Perhaps this reveals a lack in my understanding of the functioning of the universal energy? Anyway... sorry for the REALLY long comment!

    As ALWAYS, LOVE your Posts!!!

  2. Tori,

    You don't have one on your phone? Or on your oven? Or micro-wave? Hmmm. Very suspicious. Says something about your relationship with time. :) Of course I can do a whole 3 minute one, but the problem is that I has already done my meditation that day and didn't need to do another one. Also, I get kind of pathetic looking about 2.5 minutes in... and didn't feel like showing that to the world. Hee hee.

    Covering the head is to show respect to God and also energetically it helps the energy be focused and not all over the place. I'll try to find more on this and post it for your info.