Monday, September 10, 2012

Married Life

I got married a week ago. Hooray! It was the most wonderful day. I was so excited to have all my book collaborators come and I got to spend time with them in my own city. Heather came in early Friday with Abe and we went to the beach for an hour and I baptized myself in the ocean.

It was Abe's first ocean dip, so he decided to go all in, too.



Robyn and Jeff came a few hours later and we all hung out and got ready for the party Friday night, which turned out amazingly better than I could have dreamed. We had it in a friend's back yard under the blue moon and friends met friends and everyone met Rocky, Me and Phoebe. After everyone ate Mediterranean food, Rocky invited them to romance us with their words. We sat in the center of the audience and just watched the magic unfold.

It was a little like fast and testimony meeting in that there was sometimes long pauses between speakers. For some people that pause is terribly uncomfortable. For others, like Rocky and I, it's fun to watch people squirm about who will be next.

One of Rocky's friends broke the ice with a funny story and then Heather gave us some words of wisdom from the two greatest philosophers of all time: Bill and Ted. Be excellent to each other.

Then my dad and his wife got up and decided to sing to us. They adapted the song "Sunrise, Sunset" from Fiddler on the Roof to fit us and our situation. I wish I had a video camera. They were so charmingly imperfect that it opened the energy for a whole new level of authenticity. It also made me cry. I love that song. (Sorry pictures aren't available yet... But as soon as they are I'll update this post.)

Other highlights were:
  • I got to meet Rocky's brother, who said some beautiful things that made Rocky seem like a good  brother.
  • Laura, who is the reason Rocky and I are together now, wrote us a beautiful poem called Blue Moon.
  • I got everyone to sing along with Rainbow connection. 
  • Buna read Pablo Neruda. 
  • One of Rocky's friends wrote us a poem from the future. :)
  • Christi sang us a beautiful song and so did Jake. 
  • Everyone there had a wonderful time. They all said they wished they had done something similar for their wedding instead of a reception. I agreed. It was a magical evening, but also one that only happens once in a blue moon.
The next day we were sealed, and by talking to the right person I managed to have the white wedding I had so sincerely wanted. That means everyone was wearing their white temple clothes and we got to be in the sealing room off of the celestial room, which is the most sacred room in the temple.

As we were sealed, I listed to the words of the sealing. The promises of the sealing ordinance are pretty amazing. Basically God promises us all He has, which is way more than we promise him when we promise all we have.... (I'll write more about this soon when I write about the law of consecration.)

After our sealing we all hung out in the celestial room for a while before Rocky and I dressed and made our triumphal re-entry into the world.
 
On preparing to go outside, the temple worker, Brother VonWagoner, who will forever live in or memory, gave us instructions about when to exit and what cue to listen for as he announced us. I realized how this is the only thing the temple does that is like a performance. It's completely orchestrated from start to finish, from the moment you arrive till you walk out. And it seems like the workers who get to help with that performance really enjoy it--especially Brother VonWagoner.


After the cheers, we gave Phoebe her own ring, so she'd feel part of the day and then she threw some flower petals down because that's what she's done at all the other weddings she has been to in her life. So we let her.



Then after more pictures we drove off to our honeymoon.

I feel like this blog is getting long, but I don't think you'll stop reading just as I am about to give highlights from the honeymoon.

Here are several things Rocky and I realized on our honeymoon.

We both feel like the sealing ordinance changed us, physically. A few days before we were married, we decided to read the marriage essay in The Gift of Giving Life. It had been a while since I read it, and even though I wrote it, I don't feel like it was written by me. More on that later. In it, there is a quote from Orson Pratt about the Holy Spirit of Promise, which is described as the binding agent in the universe. It's what seals couples for time and all eternity and Orson Pratt describes the effects of making that spirit fully present in your lives:

"[The Holy Ghost] quickens all the intellectual faculties, increases, enlarges, expands and purifies all the natural passions and affections and adapts them, by the gift of wisdom, to their lawful use. It inspires, develops, cultivates and matures all the fine-toned sympathies, joys, tastes, kindness, goodness, tenderness, gentleness and charity. It develops beauty of person, form and features. It tends to health, vigor, animation and social feeling. It invigorates all the faculties of the physical and intellectual man. In short, it is, as it were, marrow to the bone, joy to the heart, light to the eyes, music to the ears, and life to the whole being."

Rocky and I both work on having the Spirit in our lives, but when we were sealed it was like it took it to a whole new level and all of our senses were heightened. We were fortunate to eat a lot of delicious food on our honeymoon. But it wasn't just delicious, it was amazingly wholesomely delicious. Rocky even commented on our meals hours later. He is the one who used to tell me "I don't live to eat, I just eat to live." Well since September 1, he might have transformed into an unapologetic foodie.

After so many good meals in a row, we were both choosy about where we ate next. We didn't want to ruin our streak. And miraculous epicurian miracles kept happening. But it wasn't just our tastebuds that seemed different. Even the breeze and the sunset seemed more amazing. Rocky was positively drunk on the breeze coming in from our balcony that wafted between his toes. He was babbling like a drunk man about how beautiful it was. I felt like I was watching every cell in his body changing and filling with light. And I could feel mine changing too.


At a local farmer's market on our honeymoon.
The coolest part, for me, was the difference in the sound current. We began a 40-day meditation together before we got married and the first day we meditated together as a married couple, we both noticed that something was different. I have always loved the way the sound current flowed through us as we did Kirtan Kriya together back-to-back, but this time it was different. It was like the frequency was elevated and we were elevated with it. I will always love Kirtan Kriya for carrying us into our marriage. And I think that is what meditation does. It carries into change in a graceful, loving way. 

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