Friday, September 28, 2012

What Does Personal Reveleation Feel Like?

Several of my good friends are currently struggling with anxiety and depression. This week, one of them said to me that she can't feel God anymore. She can't feel His presence or answers. This is terrifying to her. She is beginning to question everything.

Medication has helped a little bit, but she still feels numb. She used the word feel a lot. She wondered out loud to me today, "if a medication can block me from feeling the Spirit, then maybe the Spirit is not real. Maybe it is just a hormone."

Of course I believe that this was her depression and doubt and fear talking, but it switched a light bulb on for me. I realized that many people don't know any way of getting revelation other than through their feelings. And so of course if one's feelings are numb, this might be a logical conclusion. 

I used to be that way. I needed to feel a burning in my bosom with tears brinking to know I was feeling the Spirit, or to feel that I was being guided and led along. I now see that only having one way of receiving personal revelation is problematic. If one's feelings suddenly become hijacked by depression or chemistry, a person may feel spiritually abandoned--drowning in a choppy sea. 

There was a trend in the 80s and 90s (I don't notice it as much now) for church talks and lessons and testimonies to be heavily laden with emotional stories that were meant to make everyone weep. Not that stories are bad, but I think that there was a wide-spread confusion between feeling emotion and feeling the Spirit.

I have learned in recently years that God and his angels communicate with you in whatever ways you open to. Or rather, whatever you'll realize is communication. A few years ago I opened my self up to all kind of metaphysical communication and I got it. Boy did I get it. If I told you all the ways I know I am led along throughout the day, you might laugh. I often do, especially when my ancestors move things, when the clock always says 1:11 or 2:22 or 3:33 every time I look at it. Or when a butterfly flies in front of my car on the freeway. And of course when I stop in the middle of a meditation for no reason and read a scripture that ends up being a missing link to something. Why did I stop? I didn't feel "prompted." I didn't feel a burning in my bosom. I didn't feel anything. I just thought, I want to pick up my scriptures right now. Sometimes words come, like: "Go to hypnotherapy school." Sometimes other people say things. Sometimes my daughter tells me "Mom, you should go to yoga." And I go. And in truth, she was divinely inspired to boss me around such. All of this is personal revelation. Don't get me wrong. I still have feelings. Tears still leak at times, but not as much as they used to. Mostly I feel a smiling feeling all over my cells.

Sometimes I teach people a powerful meditation and they tell me that it is not relaxing (the meditation for healing addictions is one example). I get it. They are expecting to go into a warm fuzzy trance, which I also enjoy. But when they open themselves up to something different, magic happens. 

I know many people have struggled with anxiety and depression, and so I'd love to hear your experiences with this. What has helped you to feel better, or to know that God is there? What other ways do you get communication? What advice would you give my friend besides hold on, it will get better? She already knows I think meditation is a huge key, especially the technology that I'm about to unpack for everyone on October 2 in the meditation webinar. (Hopefully she will join us.) But please share other thoughts and ideas if you will.

Sat Nam.


  1. I read this the other day, and have been thinking about it ever since.

    I don't think I have an answer, but a blog post might point your friend in a good direction:

    There is a difference between emotions and the Spirit, and I think that we all have to figure out the difference for ourselves.

    I will pray for your friend.

    1. Drat, I just remembered that the blog I linked to is now private. If you want, I can send the article cut-and-pasted. Just email me. x

    2. ooh. yes please. can you email it to me? progressiveprophetess at gmail

  2. A little tool, minuscule in thought but very substantial in reality is paint your toe nails happy colors and plant bulbs that will bloom in the spring. I so intimately know that dark place and although I have tried many versions of many things to survive it, this is the truest advice I have been given. And after you've done those two things, just wait. Wait until those flowers somehow bloom with the hope that you too are in a different season of your life.

  3. I love this: "Mostly I feel a smiling feeling all over my cells."
    Thank you for sharing your thoughts!

  4. If she is LDS - with conference weekend coming up, have her take her concerns and questions with her and a notebook as she listens to conference, the answers will come.

    And if she can't feel God or his answers, then he will communicate with her through thoughts, impressions, and other people. Can she find beauty in nature, or sacred music? He is there too.

    Also a helpful link :

  5. The thing that has helped me the most is training myself to discern words, phrases, sentences to my mind. Even when I'm super down and don't feel anything, the words come through clear as day. I can ignore them or not, but they are able to come straight through the fog and drear of the down times.