Personal Revelation Puzzle- 1000 Peices
Since September, I have been praying for personal revelation about something. I got no answer, no answer, no answer. But I have waited for a long time for answers before. It's okay. I knew it would come.
Finally, it has come, in a crazy way. In December, something happened that seemed terrible, and still does--from the outside. But as more pieces of the puzzle fall, I see it is all combining for our good.
When we left California, on literally one day's notice, I didn't know why. I only knew that God wanted us to go. So I did. Somehow everything has worked out. We sublet the apartment in LA, got a borrowed car here in UT, found a place to stay with friends, and so many more miracles I can't list.
And I realize that though it seems like we are homeless and wandering and not sure what is coming next, it is the answer to so many prayers. I have unplugged myself from my work/career, in LA, which would have been too hard to do while there. I can now focus totally on my daughter, who desperately needs one-on-one attention and healing. There is a lot of healing that needs to happen in her little heart and mind and body. I wasn't being the kind of mom I wanted to be while "doing it all." But now I can be.
I still have the the ability to see clients here via Skype or at the office a friend has offered to share with me--but I have only seen 2 clients since I have been here. I have decided not to seek them out, but only to take the ones that the Lord sends to me, and that I feel He wants me to help.
Back in August, I got this very strange inspiration that I should homeschool my daughter. I have never liked the idea of home school--mainly because I knew a few oddballs, and because I got used to the idea of of free babysitting for 6 hours/day. But the inspiration kept coming. I finally researched it. I realized it might be just what Phoebe needed. But I had no idea how I would do it along with everything else.
So she started first grade in the fall at the same school she went to Kinder. But for some reason in October, I felt inspired to file a home school affidavit. (And it just so happens that you can only file them once/year in California between Oct 1 and Oct 15th.) But I never pulled her out of school because I as blocked at every turn by something.
Now that we have uprooted suddenly, that homeschool affidavit is sure coming in handy. ( I love how God sets things in motion long before we know what it's all about). Now I don't have to worry about the legality of having her out of school for a few months. The friend I am staying with is homeschooling her kids too, so I it's a soft landing for me. I am seeing what is possible. I am in tune with what Phoebe really needs, and I am opening my heart to the "gift of Motherhood" which I had neglected. My days are now filled with joy.
I am also enjoying writing and reading for pleasure again. For so long I felt like I was always reading some healing manual or something non-fiction that didn't really enliven me. Now I am reading poetry and history and writing, too. It's very healing.
These are just a few of the blessings that have come out of our crisis. I love the word crisis. In Chinese (I think), the word crisis is the same as the word for opportunity. I believe I once blogged about this on my old blog. I'll have to look it up.
As far as the personal revelation that has come from it, I am still piecing that together and can't share much, but I believe it has to do with my husband's and my joint mission. I have been learning so much and transforming in such a radical and fast way that I sometimes don't know how to keep up. Someday, hopefully, I will write more about this. Until then, our whole family can still use all your fervent prayers of protection, light, and love. It would be great if you would pray specifically for: unity, love, and that we will not be deceived. I am learning that being specific is super important.
Also, if anyone is in Utah and wants to give me lessons on how to dress for this weather or wants to lend me some winter clothes, that would be awesome.
And if anyone else is here in UT and wants to have a play date, let us know. Phoebe and I might teach a mommy and me yoga class together (I teach the moms, she teaches the kids) in SLC if anyone is interested.