This Poem Healed Me

Last weekend I did some chain-breaking via energy healing on myself and released more baggage that had come down from my father’s line. I also discovered some things that I had suspected but wasn’t happy to learn about my parents’ marriage.

My mother died when I was 11 (cancer) and though I had an aunt hint about it before, I never wanted to think that my mother would have chosen to die to get out of her situation. I was deeply offended by this notion at the time, but now I see it is true. My mother (on some level) realized that she could never be who she needed to be, or have the power to help me with my mission, while in her physical body and married to my father. So she died. This enabled her to have a relationship with me in a different way and in a place where she can be of much more aid. 

This realization--that my mother died and abandoned me in order to be there for me, was an interesting game-changer. But it brought up a lot of sadness and resentment too. When my mother made her spirit presence known that evening at Lani’s house, I asked her all kinds of questions. Through our telepathic communication, she told me she was very excited and happy watching me fulfill my destiny. I realized what a cool woman she is. She is seriously cool. (I would say bad-ass, but I am trying not to use that word anymore.) Her vibe was so authentic. And so different than most of my memories of her. 

I asked her why she married my dad, because I had learned just a few days earlier that she wasn’t contracted to marry him. She had made a sacred contract to be my mother, but he was not contracted to be my father.  She could have married anyone. Learning this annoyed me, because most of the stuff I have been trying to overcome has come from him or come down on the DNA from his side.

In response to why she married him, she gave me a reason that I didn’t understand on an experiential level--and so I didn't feel like it was a good reason. Finally she said what I needed to do was just go read “that poem.” I knew which one. 

So I looked it up and read it aloud to Lani and Sheridan, who were with me. As I read the last line I felt all resentment washed away and only gratitude for my life. It was a beautiful healing. And I would love to share it with you. It is from Sharon Olds. I will paste it below and you can go to this link to hear her read it aloud if you wish. 

I GO BACK TO MAY 1937

BY SHARON OLDS

I see them standing at the formal gates of their colleges,
I see my father strolling out
under the ochre sandstone arch, the
red tiles glinting like bent
plates of blood behind his head, I
see my mother with a few light books at her hip
standing at the pillar made of tiny bricks,
the wrought-iron gate still open behind her, its
sword-tips aglow in the May air,
they are about to graduate, they are about to get married,
they are kids, they are dumb, all they know is they are
innocent, they would never hurt anybody.
I want to go up to them and say Stop,
don’t do it—she’s the wrong woman,
he’s the wrong man, you are going to do things
you cannot imagine you would ever do,
you are going to do bad things to children,
you are going to suffer in ways you have not heard of,
you are going to want to die. I want to go
up to them there in the late May sunlight and say it,
her hungry pretty face turning to me,
her pitiful beautiful untouched body,
his arrogant handsome face turning to me,
his pitiful beautiful untouched body,
but I don’t do it. I want to live. I
take them up like the male and female
paper dolls and bang them together
at the hips, like chips of flint, as if to
strike sparks from them, I say
Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it.

If you want to learn more about poetry for healing, I wrote an article called Poetry for Healing that is published here. It was written to an audience of healers, but I think all might enjoy it.

Sat Nam

Please feel free to share experiences or links to your favorite healing poetry.