Friday, September 13, 2013

My Virtual Re-Birth Blessingway

The five of us authors of The Gift of Giving Life have had a Google group for years now. Let me see... since 2009. And it wasn't just us, there were a few other contributors and a very lovely assistant who kept us organized that were all part of the group. When we first formed, none of us was pregnant, but as we grew through the process, and as the process dragged on, one or two of the girls became pregnant and we decided to throw a virtual mother shower.

I don't remember how it started or who was first, but now it seems that we have done over a dozen with several of us having had more than one. The process usually involved being secretive and getting everyone but the expectant mom to submit a birth wish or thought and a bead and one person would make a necklace or bracelet and send all the thoughts and beads and maybe some other gift in a nice package. We got more creative and one year there were 3 pregnant at the same time. That was the year of the Bonsai trees. I remember that was the year that after pouring over bonsai trees and figuring out which ones for which weather, I decided to get one for myself. I figured no one else was going to.

There were a few times that I wondered out loud if they would ever be doing one of these blessingways for me--if it would ever be my turn. But last year when they all sacrificed so much to come to my wedding I was so thrilled, I wasn't thinking about that anymore. Getting everyone together all in one place and hearing their wishes in person was beyond anything I could have ever wanted.

Then life changed. And now I have a new life and it is amazing and becoming more exponentially so each day.

About a week after I unpacked my last box I got a box in the mail from my dear friend Lani. I had a feeling it was something special so I waited till Phoebe was asleep so I could open it by myself. I'm glad I did because I don't think she would have understood the weeping.

There were some other things in the box, that were very special, but what kind of blew my mind was this:

and all these:

It was not just from my Gift of Giving Life sisters, but from dozens of people that I know and love and who apparently love me, too. I was surprised by how many people she was able to find, that I didn't know she knew, or even knew how to contact them.

All of them sent me wishes for my new life. I weep even now as I re-read them. They are so beautiful individually. And all together they amount to so much more than just a wish or a thought or a poem or a prayer. They amount to a miracle. And they show me that my life is a miracle--that I have touched many people, that I am held in the light of God's love--and that "Love is Fire....It is is Fire with a large F. It is Divine Fire." - Truman G. Madsen

The last letter in the massive scroll was from Lani, my dear sweet friend and soul sister who I called every day when she was sick last year. And when she was finally herself again, the roles reversed and I called her every day again--this time she was the one listening to me ask if this suffering would ever ever end.

She wrote it best in her letter to me:

"I stood by and watched you in the fire, burning, burning, burning. It was like the most massive bonfire ever, and it just wouldn't stop. Burning, burning, burning. But only a magnificent blaze could possibly have encompassed your essence, radiant even in your agony. 
And then you emerged from the flames, your feet ablaze, the Lioness who shines with the Light of God's divine Name. And when your feet touched the ground, all of creation vibrated with a new song."

I am so grateful for that agony and for God's hand that has led me to this rebirth. I am filled with love for the many people who have born me up and for the new song that vibrates my whole life.

I know there are others who are not represented on this necklace, but I feel your wishes in my heart and I love you dearly. May all peace and light approach you forever.

Sat Nam.


  1. Thank you for sharing something so beautiful and personal and sacred.

  2. Lani's words are so beautiful, powerful and true, "And then you emerged from the flames, your feet ablaze, the Lioness who shines with the Light of God's divine Name. And when your feet touched the ground, all of creation vibrated with a new song." I'm so glad I could participate in this special blessingway. Love you!

  3. :) You deserve joy and I am glad to be a part of your journey!