Saturday, February 7, 2015

Letting the Oppressed Go Free - Mono Fast Diary Day 6 and 7

Day 6 - I woke up with a small migraine that I made huger by my own rotten feelings about it. I was feeling really pissed and wondering why I am doing this to myself. I stayed in bed most of the morning feeling sorry for myself and in genuine pain, but then also knowing I was creating that pain in some way. I am not doing anything crazy. I am getting all the nourishment I need, but I'm freaking out. So I suffered for a while and then decided I didn't like suffering and thought I probably had some tools I could use. Ha! Imagine. So I texted a few people for energy healing but before any of them got back to me I resting and sort of half delirious and spontaneously went into imagery state and some sort of guide or angel took me to a control room and we dialed down the pain/nausea buttons at the same time. And then we dialed it back up just to show me that I could control it. Ack. Dial it back down. So we did.

Then my guide had me look around for any other controls that needed adjusting. I found the one and I noticed that there was a devil with his hand on it. Mer. :/  So I cast him out and then adjusted the dial. I was trying to read it and I thought it said TRUTH. So I also released a believe that seeing the truth about myself has to hurt.

Shortly after that I felt better! Weak but better. I got up and I couldn't stand the thought of eating mung bean soup so I just ate some yogurt and I made plain white rice--which is an ingredient in the soup so I figured it was fine and even more simplified. And white basmati rice is really easy on digestion.

Then my friend got back to me and she did a scan of what oils I needed. It was all the trust oils! I also scanned for Cardomom (which is good for anger and also digesting life). Interesting. Cardamom is one of the ingredients in yogi tea and in the mung bean soup. I guess there is a reason for that.

Anyway, when I realized it was all the trust oils I realized that the word on the door that I was trying to read in my imagery journey was Trust, and not Truth, although I think clearing that belief about truth was helpful, I think the real issue is trust.

I realized that I am not doing this to myself. It gave me great relief to remember that this was inspired and not all my idea. I have a lot of dumb ideas. But if I remember that it was God's idea I can trust that it is doing its good work and there is so much more He knows than I do.

Once I got that trust thing through my head I was suddenly fine. Not weak or even hungry. And the rest of the day all I ate was yogurt and fruit and a little more white rice.

I had this thought that God has been preparing me in so many ways to release attachment to EVERYTHING. But he did it a little at a time. Last year it was to material possessions. And now that I am back home it's okay for me to have a house and furniture and a car again. Because I know I could walk away from them. Now he wants me to get over all the food issues I didn't know I had.

I had this thought that if I ever had to go live in a commune and live off food storage a lot of people would be freaking out because they would all be going through their food issues and loss of control and attachment issues, but I would be able to be a lighthouse. Yay.

Day 7 -  Another interesting dream. This time involving a tiger. I won't go into detail. Today I only felt like eating fruit and yogurt. So that's what I did. And I felt great. I did my morning sadhana and then had an ecstatic experience with bannanas. Bannanas are so great. They have so much energy super powers in them. I was reading somewhere that 2 bananas can give you enough energy for a 90 minute work out.  When I finally did make a pot of soup late in the afternoon I noticed it was just because I felt like I should, not because I wanted it.  And you know what? It didn't taste very good. Something went wrong with the beans. They were hard. So I guess I didn't prepare it with singleness of heart. So I threw it out and kept with the fruit and plain yogurt.

In the morning I called a friend because I was feeling like there was something blocking me from manifesting two things that I need right now. God usually manifests for me very quickly when I know it is right. But this has been a long time. So I called to see if she could help me clear anything. As I was telling her how I felt, we both realized it was a curse. So she went into theta and cleared it. But this is the crazy part. She went in and then described what she saw to me. And it sounded exactly like a non-dominant hand drawing I had done two days before when Amarjot asked me to draw with her.

I had tried to analyze it then and I thought the Goonies Head Blob was just my subconscious mind blowing sludge into the river, but it turns out it was some curse that got activated when I helped pull the curse of the city of Pocatello. Mer... Bad guys were mad. So anyway, we cleaned that up. And later that day, I manifested one of the two things and I was shown where the other one is. Hooray!

As I meditated in the evening I realized that I was feeling great and hadn't eaten much and I wondered if what was really happening is that I am winding down to do a full fast without food for a few days (When you do longer fasts, such as 3-9+ days without food you need to prepare the body by winding down and slowly eliminating foods in a certain order.  And when you break the fast you add them in slowly again in the reverse order.) Hmm. I was willing to consider it.

As I was meditating, I got a text from a friend who asked if I would like to join in a fast for a boy who was kidnapped. I can't give more details than that, but I agreed without hesitation and decided it would be a fast without any food. Then I prayed and I saw angels surrounding the boy and preparing him for the rescue.  I remembered Isaiah 58:6

"Is not this the fast I have chosen, to loose the bands of wickedness, to undo the heavy burdens, to let the oppressed go free...."

I started to cry. I felt like all this has been preparing me to be a power for peace. My small sacrifice here in my little tree house can make a legitimate difference in saving a child, loosing him from bondage. And many more. I believe that it has a huge effect for world peace and bringing the righteous to Zion. I felt so much love for God and gladness that he is a great healer and repairer and we are too through Him.

1 comment:

  1. I love you, Nam Joti Kaur. It never ceases to amaze me how God guides my personal journey through yours. Thank you for all you are going through to help and bless the entire planet.