Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Forever Changed - Bonnie's Story

by Bonnie Hansen


When I first decided to do the Intro to Kundalini Yoga Meditation Webinar, I had no idea how it would change my life, my perspective, and my soul. I just wanted more peace, more clarity, a closer relationship with God, and a greater ability to handle the everyday stresses of life.
Just this morning as I pondered what I would say if someone asked me to stop my meditation practice, I realized that to give this up would be like asking me to stop saying my prayers. It would be like asking me to build an impenetrable wall between me and my Savior. It would be asking me to return to the depressed, discouraged, frightened, wounded little girl I had been most of my life. It would be asking me to give up my newfound ability to stay calmer with my kids, my ability to now truly see and appreciate their awesomeness and their worth to Heavenly Father. It would be taking away a valuable tool to help my husband heal from his own childhood wounds. It would be like asking me to sever the connections between me and Heavenly Father, my Savior, and my higher self that I have built and formed one daily meditation session at a time for over a year now. I hope I am never asked to give that up, because I never could give up the sweet, blissful connection to God and myself—my true self—I feel each morning.
Meditation hasn’t always been easy or blissful. Some days, especially in the beginning, I learned things I didn’t want to know, things that ripped my heart out, things that filled me with grief. But I was never alone. Always, God was there with me, guiding me, comforting me, holding me. Ancestors were there too, and so were angelic friends I have no mortal memory of. I felt loved and cared for and knew that I was on the right path. After each new revelation and subsequent healing, I was lighter, happier, and more in tune with who I really am. It was time for the darkness to leave, and I was ready for it. The beauty of it was that it came gently, only as fast as I could handle, only as fast as I had the faith to believe that, with God’s help, I could overcome it.
Every new webinar Felice offered I signed up for. Each class always had one more song or mantra, one more meditation, one more tidbit of information that I needed just at that time to help me continue and progress on my healing journey. I learned again how completely God is involved in the details of our lives, how He brings people into our lives just at the time that we need it. I learned in my heart, and not just my mind, that I am strong, that I am valued by the One who matters most, that I have a divine purpose to help heal all my brothers and sisters.
I stand up straighter and taller now. I look younger. I am healthier and fitter. I am happier. I love people more. I am gaining a greater ability to forgive myself and others, no matter how grave or serious the offense. All of it is covered by the Savior’s Atonement, and I have learned that on a deep, personal level during my daily sadhana. I have learned that He has never left me, that I can give Him all my pain and He can heal me, no matter how deep the pain or the wound. I knew these things on an intellectual level before, but now I know them deep in my heart because I have felt them. Kundalini Yoga and Meditation has awakened my true self from a deep sleep. I now feel truly alive. I know Kundalini Yoga and Meditation can change the world because it has forever changed me.


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