Tuesday, December 30, 2014

Weird, But Amazingly Effective - Bryenn's Story

Weird, But Amazingly Effective
by Breynn

I have no idea why I decided to start meditating. I came across Felice’s website through The Gift of Giving Life blog, which I found through another friend’s blog. A round about way to get there, I know. I really was feeling out of touch with my life and needed some way to release the pressure that was building. I decided to give meditation a try even though it sounded weird to me. I am glad I did.
I have been meditating for about seventy days at the time of this writing. The first thing I noticed that changed was some of my habits, particularly my nail-biting habit. I haven't bit my nails since about the second week, when I started doing the meditation for releasing addictions. It feels great. I have tried to stop so many times. I am thirty-four, and I have bit my nails since forever. My mom tried to get me to stop when I was little. As an adult I have tried everything I can think of to quit––yucky nail polish, self-determination, pretty nail polish, anything else that promised to work. But nothing did. So when I started meditation and soon after was able to stop biting my nails, I was amazed.
Some other things I have noticed that have changed in my life are things that I have wanted to change or implement for a long time but have never had the ability to really make them work. I have been studying my scriptures every morning. I have always been good at reading everyday, but I had gotten into the habit of reading two verses or so before bed. Not so much studying, but more or less not wanting to give up what I knew could be good for me. Now I have been studying every morning. It has been nice. I am enjoying it more too. I hope to just get better and better the more I read.
I have also started reading the Book of Mormon with my kids every morning. We have talked about doing this for a while, but I have just never had the energy to really pull it off. We have been reading for about three weeks or so now. It’s just a little bit––some days a few verses, some days more. But the kids are enjoying it and asking good questions. We have also been doing scripture lessons at night before we read books. The kids are actually learning a lot about the teachings of the scriptures and LDS church history. They are very tuned into the lessons we are learning. It is nice to see them understanding the church and the gospel.
I have noticed that my dishes are getting done so much more easily now. I used to have a pile of dishes left for me after the kids were put to sleep. It was really depressing to be tired after getting them to sleep and realize that I had a mountain of dishes to do. I have been getting dishes done right after dinner now. It hasn't been hard or a huge change or anything that I have felt. I just have gotten them done. We haven't been turning on the TV at nights as much anymore. Not that I have stressed about it or anything, it just hasn't been turned on. Positive changes.
One big thing for me was watching late-night TV. I had a love/hate relationship with late-night TV. At night, I felt pulled to just sit and veg in front of the TV. I needed my "me time." During the day when I was very conscious, I realized that I really hated the effects that came from watching TV at night. I hated how tired I was. I also hated the shows I was watching. They left me with bad feelings and with bad images in my mind. Other shows were just not morally good. During the day I could tell this practice was not good, but at night I just couldn't stop. But I have finally stopped. I haven't watched late-night TV for a while now. Occasionally I will watch something small, but it is always uplifting and usually short. I don't feel the same pull anymore to the TV. I have been going to bed instead. Sometimes I will read for a bit first, but it feels great to go to bed now. I feel so much better.
After writing this all out, I can see there have been many things that have changed in my life. The only thing that I have really made myself do daily is meditate. I really do make sure that I do that. The rest has just fallen into place more or less. It is all stuff that I have been wanting to change or implement for a long time. None of these things were new goals for me, but they have all started working in my life after I began my daily meditation.
Interestingly, none of these things were my top priorities for why I started to meditate. I have three things that are incredibly important to me that I need divine help with. Three things that I know I cannot do on my own. None of these three things have been changed (that I can see right now). Maybe things are changing and I just can’t see it yet. It would be easy to look at those three things and not see any change and decide that meditation just isn't helping. But I can’t ignore all of the other things that have been changed so far. The three things I am still waiting on are big—like really big. Maybe they will just take time, or maybe some prep work needs to be done first before they can change. I don't know really. But I have seen too many results from meditating to quit now. I am really enjoying it. To be honest, I still find meditation a little weird, but I also find it amazingly effective.

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