Friday, October 10, 2014

Meditation, Myrrh, and Rebirth

Meditation, Myrrh and Rebirth
Name Witheld

I just got back from the most wonderful retreat. My friend Felice came here to teach us Kundalini Yoga and Meditation. It was a spiritual weekend, full of learning, healing, and spiritual guidance. God spoke to my heart many times and taught me what I needed to know.

I have been an avid user of essential oils for over two years. I was excited to share some of my knowledge with the ladies at the retreat. In preparation, I listened to a CD by Daniel McDonald about emotional healing with essential oils. It was a powerful message and so timely. He explains two particular ways to use the oils to facilitate emotional healing. I knew that I was supposed to share these two methods with the women at the retreat. The first activity was to select three oils that you are drawn to, read the descriptions of their emotional properties, and then ponder the messages that your body is giving you—the physical ailments that are manifesting in your body and how they are communicating some emotional pain.

The second activity was to select the oil that repulses you, the smell that you cannot tolerate. After consulting the book, you are to consider the emotions associated with that oil. Which emotions have you avoided, ignored, or repressed? He suggests that you journal, pray, and meditate until you have an understanding of this emotion and what it is that you need to release.

On Saturday the five of us sat around the dining table and did these two exercises. Each of us had a powerful experience with our “oil of avoidance.” I knew that my oil was myrrh. I had always disliked the smell of myrrh. It nauseated me. I knew that I was avoiding something big.

I read from Daniel's book about myrrh. This oil is known for healing the relationship between mother and child when it has been severed. Myrrh heals the disturbance and feelings of abandonment. "Myrrh assists individuals in letting go of fear. Through reestablishing a healthy connection to the earth and to one's own mother, myrrh rekindles trust within the soul. As the individual learns to once again live in trust, confidence in the goodness of life returns and the soul feels more safe and at home in the earth."

I have never had a close connection with my mother. She was a good mom, and she always took good care of my family. I love her, but I have always felt some resentment and anger toward her, without understanding why. I blame her for many of my faults, even my body issues and weight gain. I am not proud of these feelings, but I feel them nonetheless. Clearly, I had some things to release.

So there I was, reading about myrrh and contemplating my relationship with my mother. I applied some myrrh to my hands, cupped them around my nose and mouth, and breathed deeply. Yuck! I kept breathing. Felice suggested we tune in and do some simple alternate-nostril breathing as a meditation. I could smell the myrrh on my hands as I did so. I continued for about three minutes. I felt an immediate shift.

I began to write in my journal: “Dear Mom, I forgive you. I accept you exactly where you are. I came to you at the right time. I take the best you gave me and I let the rest go. I can move on in peace. I love you how you are right now. You are enough. I am enough. We have lessons to teach each other.”

Although five of us were sitting at the table together, we were each having a powerful experience of our own. We were each letting our special oil teach us about our emotional pain and then journaling about our thoughts. Many quiet tears were shed.

At that point, Felice suggested that we do a rebirthing meditation. As part of the meditation, we had to imagine that we were in heaven, preparing to come to earth for our mortal experience. We imagined our joy and excitement about coming to earth. We imagined ourselves coming into our mother’s womb and how wonderful it was to have a body. We felt safe and secure in the womb; we felt loved. We also imagined what our mother was experiencing during the pregnancy and how she felt to be carrying us. This was a beautiful and powerful experience for me. I started to feel greater love for my mother and to understand her a little more. I began to accept her and to accept my own body.

During this experience I was given some new knowledge. God spoke to my heart and helped me understand an important part of my life story. I was a castaway––a spirit that had been sent into a mother’s womb but had not been born because of an elective abortion. My spirit returned to heaven and was “reassigned” to another body, another womb. This realization gave me many feelings of abandonment and fear. Also, I was angry that I got this body instead of the body I was meant to have. I was meant to have a better, more thin and beautiful and healthy body. I was meant to have a better, more thin and beautiful mother. In an instant, I understood why I harbored such anger and resentment toward my mother and my own body. This understanding was both disturbing and enlightening.

God showed me a glimpse of what I felt in my mother’s womb—the confusion, the anger, the feelings of abandonment. He also explained to me that I didn’t want to come out, that I wasn’t ready to be born. The OB doctor, who thought I was overdue, had induced labor even though I was really six weeks premature! They delivered me, and I weighed just over 4 pounds, so I was bottle fed and in an incubator for the first few weeks of my life. I think this only added to my feelings of abandonment and separation. The words I had read in the book about myrrh came flooding into my mind: “Myrrh helps the soul to feel the love and nurturing presence of mother. Similar to the nutrient-rich colostrum found in mother’s milk, myrrh oil inoculates individuals from the adverse and harmful effects of the world. Like the warmth of a mother’s love for her child, myrrh assists individuals in feeling safe and secure.”

In that moment, God inspired me to start rubbing myrrh on my stomach daily, that this would heal and repair my digestion—as if I were getting the colostrum I needed after my birth. He told me that it would help me to release the anger, heal emotionally, and strengthen my relationship with my mother.

I could not contain the emotion that I felt at that moment. Tears poured from my eyes and ran down the sides of my face. This was a revelation. A message straight from God. I felt so connected to Him and so loved. I was overwhelmed with gratitude and humility.

That night, as I prepared for bed, I applied some myrrh oil to my stomach. Then He instructed me one more time: “Put it on your tongue, and suck your thumb.”

Felice had just been talking about how pressing the tongue (or thumb, in this case) to the roof of the mouth stimulates the hypothalamus to get a better signal from the pituitary gland (or God).
I followed the instruction from God and crawled into bed. Myrrh was the “colostrum” that I needed at that moment. Words cannot describe how amazing I felt. I felt soothed and consoled in a way that I never had before. Following this inspiration filled a hole in my soul that had been there for forty years. I wept with joy and felt the love of God surrounding me.

I awoke the next day feeling like a brand-new person. I now feel comfortable in this body, the body I had resisted and resented for most of my life. I am now reprogramming my brain and treating my body like the precious gift it is. I praise God for guiding me that day and for the knowledge He gave me. I am so grateful for the gifts of essential oils, prayer, journaling, and meditation, all of which helped me to receive that knowledge.

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